I’m busy, so busy that it could be easy to not care about family meetings. Yet, I believe in running my family like a business to an extent. All good organizations need meetings to reflect, plan, celebrate, and grow. From extended family meetings at my grandparents’ to the one I run now in my own house, family meetings are essential to our household health. Family time has been keeping us together, grounded, and connected for generations.

At my grandparent’s house, it started with my grandfather’s drumming.

At dawn, his beat called the family to the living room. We sang together, read scriptures, and discussed different daily life challenges, giving our opinions and sharing ideas from our day-to-day experiences. We were sometimes quite groggy at the beginning of those meetings, but those family devotions were a great chance to talk with everyone about the right and wrong ways to go about life.

My mother’s version was a lot more creative.

One time she called my siblings and I around the dining table stacked with snacks and malted drinks for an eating and drinking contest. No one could forget the time when the entire family was commissioned to read through V.S. Naipaul’s “Miguel Street” and how we discussed the various stories as we went through the book together. Sometimes, she brought home a sheet full of riddles or brainteasers and had us sprawled on the floor with pencils and paper trying to get the answers. At other times, everyone gathered to discuss changes that were on the horizon and each of us would give our opinions on the matter.

So, it flowed into my own family.

It kicked off during premarital counselling, when we learned about the parallels of a family and a company. So in the first few years, we held them on the last day of every month. We would grab some time together and review the month: celebrating our successes and acknowledging our stumbles. We’d set new goals for the next month and discuss our budget and make other important decisions. But, it wasn’t all stuffy or formal like some company meetings. They are more like the intermissions we have at the movies in Jamaica: a break time for us to stop the busyness that life can be, assess our reality and get prepped to jump back into the show.

As a child, I assumed every family was run this way.

We never called them ‘family meetings’ at the time, but these times designated to play, learn, and think together were central to how we functioned. Now, that I’m a mother, I see how important regular family meetings are to the harmony in my home. Whether we use the time to practice spiritual disciplines (devotion), set goals, review the budget, do book reviews, or play board games, it is important to schedule regular times for the family to get together. We’re living in a time where toddlers have swim lessons, 8 year olds have sporting competitions, and teenagers are working part-time jobs. Everyone’s schedule is packed that we can too quickly we move past each other without ever really connecting.

As a mother, I want to be intentional about the harmony in my home.

I know it doesn’t all fall into place just because we live in the same space and share DNA. So, even if it’s just 20 minutes a week, I need to set an appointment with my husband and my daughter where it’s just us: playing, learning, and thinking together. From my childhood memories, I know these are the times when family values get defined and passed on, when challenges get addressed and conflicts are resolved. It allows us to plan for family events and align our calendars. We get the chance to share new ideas and have new experiences together.

Sometimes family meetings are scheduled like bill payment day or eat-out night. At other times, they are impromptu like when a problem erupts or when we get home extra early and decide to put on some old music and do crazy dances in the kitchen. Structured or casual, our family meetings are essential to our flow. We take them seriously, and we give each other our full attention.

Mommies, do you pencil in dedicated family time?

Запись I Run My Family Like a Company to Keep Us Together впервые появилась Baby & Blog | Celebrating Black Mommyhood.

If my car were a person, she’d be getting her driver’s license this year.

When I was 17, my parents gave me the amazing gift of a used car. I named her Mollie Malibu. She was mine to take to college and drive through young adulthood.

As she approaches 17 years of age and 200, 000 miles, I have a strange a mixture of pride and shame. An old car certainly has benefits, such as no car note and low insurance and tag fees. By driving Mollie and my husband driving his 18-year-old car, we’ve saved thousands of dollars, yet in a culture that’s fascinated with the new and nice, it’s not always a fun decision to make.

There’s so much pressure to have the nicest and the newest.

Newer cars offer security. They’re outward signs of success and financial well-being. On some of my less proud days, I’ve parked away from events and walked farther so I wouldn’t have to be seen with my car. The plan has been to drive these cars until they break past the point of being worth the cost of repair. Each day we’re surprised they’re still going. We’ve had a handful of moments like when a belt broke on a rural stretch of road, stranding us while I was pregnant. It was unnerving to scramble for help, but not only did we survive, Mollie’s gone another 40, 000 miles since then.

Though they run, the truth is neither car is in great or even good condition.

Mollie’s engine idles rough, and the small oil leak a mechanic previously told us about has grown noticeable. Her paint’s peeling. Interior plastic has dried out and cracked. The turn signal is temperamental. We had to disable the theft lock system that started to lock the engine more and more frequently. I haven’t had a driver’s vanity mirror in years, and please do not try to open my glove box.

Yet, I love this car. For all her flaws, she’s mine. She’s been there for me for my entire adulthood. Time and use are wearing on her not unlike they wear on me. Mollie has gone from moving me into my dorm room to carting around my babies.

Mollie’s got her quirks, but she’s been one of my best assets.

To be able to get in a car and go has been a huge privilege. She’s taken me to work, on trips, to our wedding and honeymoon. She’s carried so many friends, so many groceries, and so many books from story time. She was there to get me to every job interview I’ve ever had. Last year, she was about 15 minutes from being where I had my second baby. Sure, reliable A/C would be nice, but it’s a luxury we’ve learned we don’t have to have. Saving for our family and an unknown future has been more important than climate-controlled comfort.

With the ongoing budget crisis facing higher education, we have been very cautious about adding additional bills. After relocating for my husband’s professorial career, we were glad that we didn’t have those additional expenses as I searched for a new job. I had no income when the state government released a projected budget that cut 83% funding to the university where my husband had been working less than a year. As we had hard conversations about contingency plans, I cannot understate the relief we felt knowing our monthly bills, besides housing, were so low.

We’re not living a life of poverty by far. Though I cannot buy everything I would choose, we eat well and regularly. This past year we had to use our emergency fund for the first time, and we were so glad it was there. It gave us so many options, allowed me to pass up undesirable employment and hold out for something better. Better things have come along, including buying our first house. The loan we were able to get was thanks in large part to Mollie, our other car, and the money we saved driving them even when they were inconvenient, embarrassing, and hot.

The other day my husband’s car stalled out at a red light.

Though it started again and the problem hasn’t reoccurred, we know we may be nearing the end for these cars. It’s hard to think about moving on when they have been so good to us even when we don’t always think so kindly about them.

To my beater, my clunker, my hooptie, my friend, please forgive me when I fail to acknowledge all you’ve done for me. You’ve taken me where I’ve needed to be for over 15 years. You’ve taught me thrift, humility, and a hard kind of pride that’s made me more kind, patient, and appreciative. Though I will miss you when you finally go, I will be forever grateful for every mile.

Запись My Hooptie, a Love Story: The Amazing and the Terrible Things about Driving an Old Car впервые появилась Baby & Blog | Celebrating Black Mommyhood.

Do you ever feel like life just keeps ‘happening’ to you? Like each day you’re just waking up to find out what it’s going to be today. Of course, sometimes things go your way. But, for the most part you’re just floating through the days and waiting for a miracle to snap you up from the craziness that just happens to be your ‘normal’. I’ve felt that way and it is not a happy place! I kept trying different things and then I came across Hal Elrod and his “Miracle Morning Routine”. I started carving out an hour each day to get away from everyone and everything and soon I began to feel like my joy for living had been resurrected and I could be myself again.

Now, when I say ‘morning routine’, I’m not talking about things like making the bed, eating breakfast or getting dressed. I’m referring to the rituals you practice to nurture your body, mind and spirit before taking on the world each day. If you don’t already have one, a morning routine is an excellent practice for regaining your sanity, directing your life and savouring some ‘me’ time. The big deal about designing your morning is that it sets the tone for your day. If you can develop the right mindset, plan out your day and give your muscles a blast of energy, then you’re much more likely to have a great day!

Hal’s Miracle Morning is a customisable routine built on 6 habits (Silence, Affirmations, Visualisations, Exercise, Reading and Scribing) that can be completed in 1 hour, 30 minutes or 6 minutes – your time, you choose. He selected these 6 habits after studying the routines and habits of highly successful people and found these 6 to be universal. The cool thing is that you can choose to apply the practice your own way. For example, I usually do it this way:

1. 5 Minutes of Meditation
You could sit in silence or go into prayer as well.

2. 5 Minutes of Affirmations
Great time for scripture recitation or reviewing your personal commitments.

3. 5 Minutes of Visualisations
If you have a dreambook or vision board, you can review them.

4. 20 Minutes of Journaling
I keep a gratitude journal then go through my schedule and plan out my day.

5. 20 Minutes of Reading
Personal development or educational content, but motivational audios are great as well.

6. 20 Minutes of Exercise
Stretching/Walking/Yoga – Whatever works for you.

The key to making a morning routine work is preparing the night before. This means going to bed an hour earlier if you plan to get up an hour before the rest of the family. Simple things like setting out your work clothes, packing your bags and even setting up the kids’ school stuff will make a big difference to keeping things low-stress in the morning. But, more than anything else, you need to recruit the support of other family members. Let your partner know that you need some time to be left undisturbed and find a space where no one will distract you. But, even if you can’t get alone-time before the house wakes up, you can still make it work for you. Just schedule it after the rush, but at least before 8 am.

Within the first 2 weeks of building my own morning routine, I could see the benefits. I was better able to focus on my priorities, get more clarity on my core values and personal goals and be more purpose-driven as I went about my day. Just being able to get my mind right at the start of the day, made me accomplish more of the important things and when you’re more productive and feel less overwhelmed, your confidence gets a natural and well-deserved boost. For so many mothers, just being able to sit in solitude for even 15 minutes will be life-transforming by itself. So, if you want to put yourself in the driver’s seat of your life, you might just need to start a Mommy Morning Routine. All you have to do is prepare tonight and commit to starting your routine in the morning. Try different activities within the 6 habits and find the routine that helps you disconnect so that your life can feel sane, successful and satisfying.

Запись 6 Things Mommies Can Do Each Morning to Set a Productive Tone for the Day впервые появилась Baby & Blog | Celebrating Black Mommyhood.

Now over a year into my total life change, I’m still shocked when I look back. Did I really turn down two jobs to stay home with my kids?

I did not go to college and graduate school to stay at home.

The reality is after my family relocated for my husband’s career, the offers I received had significant drawbacks. With one job I would have had to commute 47 miles each way. I’d have to leave before child care opened, and I’d get home after it closed. My husband’s work requirements wouldn’t allow him to do pick ups. We have no family here, so we’d have to hire someone to pick up our child.

I worried what about being so far away during the day while my children were so small. An hour away if traffic agreed is more distance than I felt comfortable putting between me and my children. On top of that, my 16-year-old car would not sustain such a commute, so we’d have to buy a new car immediately, taking on debt and much higher insurance and registration payments.

The other job was in town, but the salary was back to where I started a decade ago. Considering the cost of two children in full time child care, I would technically earn enough to pay for the child care and still have some from my check, but the value wasn’t there.

The quality of child care wasn’t worth it.

The child care options swayed me. Ideally, I’d like a program where the staff all had at least a Child Development Associate credential. I’d like low staff-to-student ratios of no more than 1:4 for babies and 1:8 for 4 year olds. Numbers higher than this reduce the level of attention even the best teachers can offer. The staff should be well paid and funded so they can provide a play-based program that supports children in all areas of development. Also, diversity of the staff and children and a secular background were important to me.

The preschool option I liked the most was only a 9-month, partial day program, still leaving me the afternoons and summer to fill. The cost was staggering, but quality comes at a price, a price these jobs just didn’t leave me the ability to budget.

The emotional cost is hard to measure.

While there were many aspects that I appreciated about my son’s previous child care, I hated leaving a little baby for 50 hours a week. With my husband in school, that’s exactly what I did. Bills had to be paid. Sacrifices had to be made.

I’m proud I supported my family then, but I’d like my little babies to be with me or at least a relative. Adding on a long commute, I just can’t see doing it again. I’ve had to look at what I am gaining and losing if I accept these jobs versus if I stay at home.

How we’re making my being home work.

Right now, what’s working for us is scheduling several enriching free and low cost activities during the week. We go to story time at some libraries and at our local children’s museum. My four year old also takes a tap, ballet, creative movement class once a week. Plus, we have play dates.

My husband has taken on a part-time remote evaluation job he does from home in addition to his day job. I write, edit, and transcribe during naps and when the children go to bed. I’m still figuring out my schedule, and I don’t earn anywhere close to what I earned before; however, I’m hopeful working from home will only become more profitable as I expand my client base.

I’ve learned that making as much money as possible isn’t how I want to live my life. My happiness is defined by activities that enrich my soul. Nothing does that better than spending time with my family and friends.

Frugality pays in its own ways.

We bought a modest home close to my husband’s work. This cut our living expenses significantly. We keep driving our 16- and 18-year-old cars that are paid off and inexpensive to insure. I visit 2 to 4 grocery stores in a week to stock up on the best prices. We buy things in bulk such as a quarter of beef which gets us a great price. I cook almost everything from scratch. These things and more save us hundreds of dollars each month.

When added to the cost we’re not spending on child care, the comparison between my working outside of the home and my staying home makes staying home the clear winner. Studies show we’re not the only ones making this choice as child care now costs more than rent in many places.

With my employment and child care options as they stand, I’m happy with this arrangement. I love what my kids are doing during the day. Many days I am exhausted, but honestly this is the happiest I’ve been. Keeping a tight budget is a job in itself, and I’m proud of how I’m managing our home. It may not have been the original plan, but I’m hopeful to continue in this direction.

Запись I Turned Down Two Jobs to Stay at Home Because Child Care Costs Too Much впервые появилась Baby & Blog | Celebrating Black Mommyhood.

When it comes to my kids’ play area, I try to keep it small, colorful and neat

I am a huge fan of unstructured play for my kids. Play is how they learn about themselves and the world, and develop critical thinking skills and self-direction. I got my son started with independent play as early as possible. When he was a few months old I’d scatter a few toys around him and then fade into the background as he explored.

Because toys play a major role in my children’s day to day life, it’s imperative that our play area (which gets destroyed on a daily basis) be quick and easy to clean and organize. My son’s play space is a small 70 square foot area sectioned off from our living room, and it’s where he spends most of his time. (At a year old, my daughter is more of a drifter-explorer.)

This is where my son spends most of his time.

Before I continue I should note that there are lots of different philosophies on toys. Some parents love them, some don’t. Toys are important to me because I live in a cold climate where outdoor play is impossible 4 to 5 months out of the year (ugh, thanks Chicago.) Here’s how we keep our play area simple, organized and able to clean up in 20 minutes or less.

1. Our play area is divided into stations.

This not only helps to keep the space organized, it helps my children to be deliberate about their play options. I often witness my son perusing his various ‘stations’ before settling on what he will engage with. Our play area is loosely divided into puzzles and magnets, blocks, books, soft toys, sports toys, art supplies, rolling toys and Duplos. The bookshelf is further divided into reading books and activity books. We also have a miscellaneous toy drawer for items that don’t really fit into any of the categories. The drawer largely consists of toys that were gifted to my kids. When I shop for toys I tend to keep my pre-determined categories in mind.

2. Foam tiles or a rug are a must.

Because my kids consistently spill things and it is much easier to wipe down foam tiles than sweep and swiffer wood floors. Another tip: Get large tiles like these:

For a long time I had the more intricate alphabet and number tiles, which are really great for familiarizing children with the alphabet.

But cleaning 80+ individual foam tile pieces is a lot harder than wiping down the 12 large pieces I have now.

If you don’t want to use foam tiles, put down a rug that you don’t mind having juice and crumbs spilled on repeatedly.

3. Purge, purge and purge some more.

I have a ‘toy in/toy out’ rule. If my son gets a new toy, or I purchase a new toy, an old one is given away. Also, every month I do a sweep to get rid of toys that my kids aren’t really using anymore.

4. If my son can’t keep track of a toy, he can’t own it.

I learned this the hard way after searching high and low for teeny tiny Lego pieces. After a month I realized that expecting a 3 and a half year old to keep track of half-inch toys was pure madness. I quietly confiscated all his Legos late one night. They are in the back of a closet and my son is none the wiser. I will reintroduce them in 3 or 4 years or whenever he signifies that he is able to properly care for toys with small parts.

This tip isn’t just about organization, it’s also about responsibility. I want my son to learn that he is ultimately responsible for his possessions and I’m unwilling to give him toys that he cannot maintain.

5. The younger the child, the larger the toys.

This ties in with number 4. Tiny toys + young kids = disaster. Not only are they choking hazards, they’re a huge clutter risk. Focus on larger toys — blocks, balls, books — that are easy to clean and put away.

6. I don’t buy toys frequently.

Children are endlessly creative and don’t need much to entertain themselves. There are toys that I bought my son when he was just a few months old that he has reinvented time and time again to fit his needs as he ages. Do not buy toys out of your own needs and desire (‘I wish I had that when I was a kid!’, ‘That toy looks cool to me!’, ‘I’m feeling some mom guilt, so I’ll buy a toy!), but an objective analysis of what your kids actually need.

7. Limit the playroom space and size

My kids’ play area is just a small part of our living room we sectioned off. Limiting the space has forced us to think critically and carefully about how we manage it.

8. Smart storage is key.

I’ve tried a lot of desk/shelf options. So far my favorites are

The Container Store Like-It Modular Drawers

These are interlocking clear drawers you can mix and match to get the shape and height you want. If you build them low to the ground, you can put toys on top that your child can easily access.

One of the best investments I’ve made!

The Ikea Kallax Bookcase Cube

I have, like, 3 of these in my house and I use them for pretty much everything. They are a perfect shelf/toy storage option because they are low to the ground and open-faced. Perfect for letting your children pick what they want. You can spot mine in the corner of the first two pics of my son’s play area.

9. Open space is key.

My kids need an area to dump out and play with their toys, so I always organize my play area around a central open space. It also makes it easy to spot toys during clean up time. I always put my storage along the edges.

10. I adjust the play area as my children change and get older.

This goes along with number 3. As my children age, I tweak the space and swap out or get rid of toys.

What the play area looked like a year ago. Very different from today.

This helps me to figure out smarter ways of organizing things. For example, I used to keep all of my son’s ‘building toys’ (Duplos, blocks, Magformers etc) placed alongside each other. As I realized that building toys are his ossbsession, I’ve begun consolidating them to save time and space.

What are your tips for keeping your kids’ play area organized? Share below!

Запись 10 Foolproof Ways I Keep My Children’s Play Area Organized and Tidy впервые появилась Baby & Blog | Celebrating Black Mommyhood.

The day my husband received an offer letter for his new, out-of-state job, we celebrated and waited for the word to come back with his official start date. We put our house on the market. And we waited. We expected the call for a start date any moment. But we actually ended up selling our home in Atlanta before we got the start date. The unexpected sale left us in a difficult position: temporarily homeless.

Where would we (my husband, our 3-year-old daughter, and I) live in the meantime?

Our parents eagerly offered to let us stay with them for “as long as we needed.” My friends and acquaintances warned me, “Don’t do it!” But it was the least expensive option we had. We planned to stay in Florida two weeks at my in-laws’ and two weeks at my parents’ home.

Living with family while unemployed can be a blessing and a trial at the same time. You can spend the entire time walking on eggshells. On the other hand, I’ve also heard horror stories from middle-aged parents whose adult children moved in with their families and drove the parents nuts. From messy kids to empty fridges, grandparents may not feel as welcoming after sharing space, either.

I wanted to make sure that our stay with our relatives would go as smoothly as possible. Our daughter, “Bean, ” is a toddler as rambunctious as any other. She’s cute for about 5 minutes, then she finds your last available nerve and wears it out. My greatest concern was ensuring we did not overstay our welcome to the point of resentment.

It took a lot of effort.

The first thing we did when we arrived at each in-laws’ house was lay down ground rules. Since both my husband and I are (technically) unemployed, our primary responsibility would be to care for Bean. We promised not to use our parents as live-in babysitters. This meant either me or my husband had an eye on Bean at all times, not leaving her to her own devices in random rooms.

We also made sure all the adults had a conversation about food and kitchen etiquette. Who could eat what? Who would cook? Who would clean up and wash dishes? My husband and I bought a stash of groceries. Although her grandparents were happy to share their snacks with her, we made sure Bean had enough snacks on hand so she would not eat all theirs.

Staying in our childhood homes did not, however, mean we were in “our” home. We did not allow Bean to run around the house. She had to respect their space. In the many, many instances she failed to pick up after herself, we cleaned up behind her. Were we perfect at it? No. Picking up after toddlers is a never-ending task. But we made a big effort to keep our parents’ house clean.

Can you really tell your parents what to do in their own home?

Most of the burden lies with the visitor to accommodate the host’s wishes. However, it can be difficult to maintain parental authority with doting grandparents on the scene. Because we did emphasize Bean was our responsibility, we also asked our parents to agree to our rules for her.

Things went smoothly for the most part. Our parents asked us if she was allowed to have certain goodies before they slipped her any sweets. They backed up our “No” answers if she tried to get sneaky. Still, my dad liked to flip Bean over his shoulder and send her into giggle fits…right around the time I needed her to calm down for bed. I’d cut him a “mommy” eye and he’d set her down with a grin.

Overall, we stayed at our parent’s homes for about a month total and no one got hurt. My husband and I even managed to get in a few date nights when our parents agreed to babysit. (We didn’t stay out too long, though!)

Parenting under your parents’ roof can be challenging, for sure. But the key to a pleasant stay is making sure everyone’s boundaries are respected and the lines of communication stay open.

Have you and your kids ever stayed with family for an extended period of time? How did you survive it?

Запись How I Survived Parenting Under My Parents’ Roof впервые появилась Baby & Blog | Celebrating Black Mommyhood.

1. Start by using a jump rope.  Tying a knot can be difficult for the first time if you have not had experience.  Tying a small knot can make the challenge that much more difficult,  Using a big rope to begin learning the process of tying a knot can help tremendously.

2. Make a cardboard box for your little one to practice with.

3. Use pipe cleaners instead of laces to start out.  Pipe cleaners are more stable than loose string and may help children who are struggling with fine motor control.

4.Color half of the lace with a marker or purchase bi-colored shoe laces.

5. Sing a song while tying shoes.  Adding music can help a child remember all the steps involved.  Check out this tap and sing melody by Elmo and Savion Glover.

Also this aunt shows her niece how to tie her shoes using the bunny ear method and a song to the tine of Ferris Jaques

6. Use different types of ribbon to start out with. Allow your child to experiment tying with various sizes and textures of ribbon or string.

7. Try different methods

1. Push and Tie
2. Loop, Swoop, Pull
3. For right and left handed children
4. Super fast

8. Finally be patient and practice a lot.

Mommies, how did you teach your child to tie shoes?  Please share.

Angele is a wife to a wonderful creative husband, mother to two beautiful intelligent daughters and a lover of art, education and laughter.  She is the creator and author ofABC remix.

Запись 7 Creative Ways to Teach Your Child to Tie Their Shoes впервые появилась Baby & Blog | Celebrating Black Mommyhood.

I never thought that after already being blessed with four children my body would carry twins. When I went for my first prenatal check up I was so surprised yet giddy when I got the news. I always entertained the thought of having twins, but never thought it would actually happen. But once I got off my excitement high, and acknowledged this blessing from God, the reality hit! I had so many questions, and encountered many things that I really just wasn’t prepared for.

People reaction’s are always nerve racking to me. Once we found out we were pregnant, I was ready to shoot down the negative comments that were certain to come my way. We have four now, and those four alone generate so many judgmental opinions. But once family, friends, and strangers learned two more were on the way…hmmmmm… Let’s just say I had to really go into some major praying. For the most part strangers were more encouraging than close relatives. My kids got a kick out of letting everyone know that “mommy has two babies inside of her!” I had to ask them why they kept telling everyone. Their response was, “because we love when their mouth opens wide and their eyes get real big.”

Morning sickness for the first three months — which was double the sickness I had from carrying one. House work and taking care of the kids have all been pushed on my husband. Headaches felt like my head was burning. There were times I could not get out of bed, or I’d have to stay in a room with no lights on. I had to eat literally every hour on the hour or who knows what would come out of my mouth. Now it’s every two hours. Oh and I spit all day everyday! If you live here in Portland you would see me either with a plastic cup in my hand, a bottle of water to keep the spit down or me going off to the side to spit in the street somewhere. It’s so embarrassing but what’s worse is trying to hold a conversation with someone with a mouth full of saliva because I have no where to spit. My husband and kids cannot stand it because while Im trying to talk to them they have to run and get my bucket and ask me to start all over again. For those that haven’t heard of this, it’s called Ptyalism. You can read more about it here.

My doctor appointments have been challenging because now that all four kids are home for the summer, my husband has to take off time from work or we have to ask someone to babysit. Being pregnant with twins is considered “high risk” and my past experience with stillbirth means I am being monitored even more during this pregnancy. I have to do more ultrasounds than I want to so the doctors can make sure the babies are growing and getting their proper nutrients. I really wanted to go with a midwife and experience a natural child birth, but many midwives here in Portland won’t touch a twin pregnancy, or I’m not comfortable with their level of experience.

Figuring out who will watch the kids when I go into labor has been major for me because I really don’t have the same support out here that I had back at home. And not everyone is game to watch four kids all at one time. One night/day to watch all four might not be a problem, but three days/nights in a row can be. Splitting them up is not an option for me, but God is a miracle worker and He has never let us down, so my husband and I will continue to pray and see what happens.

A larger vehicle was recently purchase due to our growing family. We had a 7 passenger van but with two more on the way, making a total of 8 of us, we had to upgrade to an 8 passenger truck. If we have any more babies we will have to get a mini school bus…YIKES!!!!

I’ve slowed me down a lot. My husband has taken most of those responsibilities off my hands and Lord knows I am so grateful. But for the most part I take it one day at a time and often have to explain to the kids they can be a big help to mommy by listening and being patient as I take longer than usual to do my normal activities and tasks. They actually are making this pregnancy go fast because they keep me so busy and distracted from it. But there are times when I get so out of breath that I can’t finish my sentences. ? But it’s will all be worth it once we meet and welcome our twins!

Kim is the author of  where she discovers what it means to be a woman of GOD, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend and entrepreneur. You can follow her on Twitter @Reboryn.

Запись I’m Pregnant With Twins and Raising 4 Young Children — The Challenges and the Joys впервые появилась Baby & Blog | Celebrating Black Mommyhood.

One more week of school and I will have all 4 kids home for the summer. My two oldest have hit the age where the cost of fun is not fun anymore because we are paying full kid prices. Things like amusement parks, flying, eating out and resort stays have become a lot more expensive, so we’ve had to come up with ways to save money and have fun at the same time. Here are some ideas we’ve come up with;

1. Ice Cream Party
My oldest is turning 7 next month and we were debating whether or not to go all out for her birthday. Going all out for us is inviting more people than just family. To be totally honest we don’t have it like that right now and often have to remind our daughter that we will do something for her birthday but not the type of parties she has attended with her friends. Last year was a big hit when we had a BBQ outside with family and instead of doing cake, we did ice cream with every topping you could think of. It actually worked out cheaper this way. For one we had it in our backyard, so it was easy clean up and no cost for venue. Also, we kept it simple with the food — hotdogs, chips, veggie dish, grilled corn, water, lemonade and — everyone’s favorite — ice cream. Guests had fun making their own cones (or cups) and adding different toppings. Can we say ‘success’!

2. Day Trips
We are a family of six so hopping on and off a plane does not always work for us. But we find that going to places that are no more than 2 or 3 hours away is an adventure for us! We live in Portland, and have done trips to Seattle — which is only two hours away. We stay in a hotel for the night and tour the city the next day. Another big hit with our family is spending a night in a hotel that is no more than 5 or 10 miles away from us. You ask how is that fun? Well if the the hotel is a 3 star or better, has an indoor pool for winter months or an outdoor pool for the summer months, has a nearby store for snacks and comes with a free full buffet breakfast, this family is there!!!! I did a post about it on my blog here. Check it out .

3. Keep a Cooler in the Car for Snacks
Going to fast food restaurants are a treat for my kiddies when on the road. But we try our best not to depend on fast food entirely when we are traveling. So we keep a cooler in the car. This has been a life saver and will be even moreso this summer. It’s good for water and juice, lunch meat to make quick sandwiches and even fruit. No quick drive by to McDonalds this summer!

4. Grow a Garden
Not only will this be a money saver, but a fun filled project for me and my family. I mean have you seen the price of produce lately? We eat a lot of fruit and veggies, especially in the summer months. When we saw how much our neighbors, a family of four, were growing right in their back yard, we knew that, as a family of six, this was something we definitely needed to attempt. There is nothing like eating produce grown right in your own yard.

5. Free Local Events
In my family, ‘free’ is our middle name. Lol, just kidding. But seriously there is no shame in seeking out free events — especially if they’d normally cost $12 or $15 a person! This summer we will be attending “Movies in the Park.” This event is really big out here in the Portland area and I’m sure if you check your area there may be a few around too. They play popular recent releases that would cost quite a bit for our family to go see in a theater. Sometimes these events give out free popcorn and do raffle prizes for extra fun. We also like to attend “Concerts in the Park” where local bands or dance crews come out and do performances in the park for FREE! Oh and don’t forget about your local library. There are always free events going on — especially during the summer months.

So in other words..TAKE ADVANTAGE of ANYTHING FREE! I believe we will have a great summer this year and will save a lot of money doing so. Your kiddies will just appreciate the fact that an effort was made to create fun and new adventures for them. It does not take money to have fun.

Kim is the author of  where she discovers what it means to be a woman of GOD, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend and entrepreneur. You can follow her on Twitter.

Запись 5 Fun Summer Activities that Cost Little Money And Keep Kids Entertained впервые появилась Baby & Blog | Celebrating Black Mommyhood.

I found myself praising Ennis’ teachers yesterday. Though his nap was disrupted, he stayed in his bed relaxing and keeping himself entertained. I did not teach him this. I kept waiting for him to run out screaming, yet each time I peeked in, he was quietly playing. I was shocked, grateful, and amazed. While no one can provide the quality and intensive care for my child that I can, child care does provide some things that I absolutely love.

1. Ennis is learning to clean up after himself Ennis has picked up some pretty handy tricks at school like I can say “It’s time to clean up” and he will actually start cleaning up. I credit peer pressure. They do several room cleanings a day, so he’s used to it. He’s not a pro or anything, but he tries and for a not quite 22 month old that’s remarkable.

2. He is on a consistent schedule. Since they do the same routine every day, when the weekend comes, Ennis still wants and expects 2 hours of quiet time for his nap. As long as we’re active in the morning, Ennis usually takes his same 2 hour nap in the same time he’d take it at school.

3. Teachers and kids at daycare are like an extended family We’re over 4 hours away from our closest family and most are 12 hours away, so Ennis doesn’t get to see cousins, grandparents, aunts, and uncles often, but he gets to see his school family 5 days a week. His teachers love him and his friends and vice versa. He talks about them all the time and has fallen asleep reciting his class roster.

4. He is learning socialization and empathy Spending the better part of their current lives together has made Ennis and his classmates very close. I got this message one morning from another mom: “Alicia, Ennis was worried about J when I dropped him off. J was sleepy so they pulled out his cot and Ennis came over, patted him, then climbed up on his cot with him. I wish I’d had my camera!” Though they still struggle with sharing as toddlers do, I’ve seen these kids run across the playground to check on a friend who is crying. The sweet hugs they give each other unprompted totally melt me.

5. He is in a diverse group of children  Diversity is in their mission statement, and they carry it out well in terms of race, socioeconomic status, abilities, beliefs, and nationality. Ennis is learning that the world does not only look and act like his family and our social circles. He gets longterm meaningful interactions, not negotiated or influenced by our presence.

6. The daycare has top Ennis has spent more time using an iPad than I have. His class has one. They also have a sand table, which we don’t. All kinds of blocks, books, toys, and activities that he wouldn’t otherwise get. Since he goes to a lab school connected to a university, he has not only teachers with college degrees, but also undergraduate and graduate students work lab hours doing group and one-on-one activities to enrich the classes. One of Ennis’ favorite students this semester has been a male pre-med student taking a child development course. The center and teachers also arrange classroom visitors like the firemen who regularly bring their truck by for the kids to climb in.

So while I’d absolutely love to stay home full time, I definitely appreciate the benefits our childcare provides while we are using it. At school, Ennis has two fulltime teachers (plus their help) devoted to providing an engaging and quality learning environment. Somehow these miracle workers get through each day without the benefit of a TV or Netflix or repeated viewings of comedy music videos. Somethings I could do my best to replicate, but others it would be impossible. When done right, group care can be very positive and I’m glad we’ve been able to be where we are while I work.

Alicia lives in a small college town that often challenges her resolve to live as simply and as stress-free as possible. When she’s not working, rereading the same children’s books, cooking, or wondering how crunchy she’s become, she’s busy updating her site,  liciabobesha.com. You can follow her on facebook.

Запись 6 Reasons I’m Not Conflicted Or Sad About Having My Child in Daycare впервые появилась Baby & Blog | Celebrating Black Mommyhood.