By Claire Niala for The Natural Child Project

I was born and grew up in Kenya & Cote d’Ivoire. Then from the age of fifteen I lived in the UK. However, I always knew that I wanted to raise my children (whenever I had them) at home in Kenya. And yes, I assumed I was going to have them. I am a modern African woman with two university degrees and I am a fourth generation working woman – but when it comes to children, I am typically African. The assumption remains that you are not complete without them; children are a blessing it would be crazy to avoid. Actually the question does not even arise.

I started my pregnancy in the UK. The urge to deliver at home was so strong that I sold my practice, setup a new business and moved house / country within five months of finding out I was pregnant. I did what most expectant mothers in the UK do – I read voraciously: Our Babies, Ourselves, Unconditional Parenting, anything by the Searses – the list goes on. (My grandmother later commented that babies don’t read books – and really all I needed to do was “read” my baby). Everything I read said that African babies cried less than European babies. I was intrigued as to why.

When I went home I observed. I looked out for mothers and babies and they were everywhere (though not very young African ones – those under six weeks were mainly at home). The first thing I noticed is that despite their ubiquitousness it is actually quite difficult to actually “see” a Kenyan baby. They are usually incredibly well wrapped up before being carried or strapped onto their mother (sometimes father).

Even older babies already strapped onto a back are then further protected from the elements by a large blanket. You would be lucky to catch a limb, never mind an eye or nose. It is almost a womb-like replication in the wrapping. The babies are literally cocooned from the stresses of the outside world into which they are entering.

My second observation was a cultural one. In the UK it was understood that babies cry – in Kenya it was quite the opposite. The understanding is that babies don’t cry. If they do – something is horribly wrong and must be done to rectify it immediately. My English sister-in-law summarized it well. “People here” she said “really don’t like babies crying, do they?”

It all made much more sense when I finally delivered and my grandmother came from the village to visit. As it happened – my baby did cry a fair amount, and exasperated and tired, I forgot everything I had ever read and sometimes joined in the crying too. Yet for my grandmother it was simple – nyonyo (breastfeed her!). It was her answer to every single peep.

There were times when it was a wet nappy, or the fact that I had put her down, or that she needed burping that was the problem, but mainly she just wanted to be at the breast – it didn’t really matter whether she was feeding or just having a comfort moment. I was already wearing her most of the time and co-sleeping with her, so this was a natural extension to what we were doing.

I suddenly learned the not-so-difficult secret as to the joyful silence of African babies. It was a simple needs-met symbiosis that required a total suspension of ideas of “what should be happening” and an embracing of what was actually going on in that moment. The bottom line was that my baby fed a lot – far more than I had ever read about anywhere and at least five times as much as some of the stricter feeding schedules I had heard about.

Read the rest at The Natural Child Project.

Запись Why Africans are the Originators of Attachment Parenting впервые появилась Baby & Blog | Celebrating Black Mommyhood.

I’m a stay at home/work at home/homeschooling mother. If that sounds like a lot, it is! I’m still figuring out how to balance it all. I am in the health and wellness industry, running my own small business as an It Works! Independent Distributor. You may have heard of us…we have those crazy wrap things and much more.

What are your life interests and passions?
D: I loooove to write. I think I can explain myself better through writing than I can speaking. I’m passionate about motherhood, unschooling, birth, breastfeeding. It’s fascinating how each woman comes to motherhood and I enjoy reading about others’ journeys, and writing about my own.

I also enjoy knitting and the beach. I learned how to knit after a friend encouraged me a couple years ago and now I’m hooked. The beach is my happy place. I love the sound of the waves and looking out into the ocean. It’s so peaceful! All my cares disappear while I’m there.

Tell us about your children.
D: I have three children. Nakiah (Na-Ky-Ah) or Kiah as she calls herself recently turned 9 years old, and is super high energy. She’s always on the go. I think she sees the whole picture of things in life and asks about, or figures out the steps later. She’s very curious, sweet, sensitive, and cares a lot about others feelings. She’s a very literal person. She also loves animals.

Ava is 6.5 years and she’s very sassy and spunky. She’s the craftiest one out of the three…always making clothes for her dolls out of whatever; paper, scrap fabric, yarn. She’s very logical in her thinking. Also sweet and caring. A perfectionist like me. She likes to try things that her friends or sister do, but she is very much her own person.

Samuel is 3.5 years and he is a spirited, sweet little boy. He loves to build with anything he can stack, but Legos have been his favorite for a while now. He enjoys making his own creations from the loose pieces. He likes it when we buy him the garbage trucks or race cars, but he’ll take it apart and remake it in a matter of minutes. He’s also a perfectionist, curious, and loves to cuddle.

Tell us about your births.
D: I had a rough pregnancy with my first, ended up on bedrest around 30 to 32 weeks. Two days past my due date I had contractions all day that wouldn’t stop. My Rat Terrior, Patches, sat in the chair beside me all day while I rocked and rocked. Once they reached every 2 mins, we set out for the hospital… it was only 10 minutes away. That was the longest car ride of my life! Every time we hit a speed bump I thought I was going to pee on myself.

We (my then-husband and I) walked the halls for about an hour and then the contractions stopped. They did an ultrasound and my midwife told me that I could be induced or go home and probably be back within a day or two. I was ready to meet my baby, so I chose the induction. Never again. I made it 20+ hrs with no epidural and no doula. I finally asked for the epidural and after a while I was ready to push. There were some complications, and it’s a miracle that Nakiah is here with us today. She was 10lbs! I had a newborn the size of a 3 month old, ahahaha. Here is the entire story of my first birth.

With our second, we were living in the same state, but a different city. I saw a midwives group there and at my 20 week appointment one of the midwives told me they were going to schedule me for a cesarean at 38 weeks because my first was so big. I didn’t like that idea at all, so I left their office and never went back. I searched online for other options and came across homebirth. The thought didn’t scare me at all, it was actually exactly what I was looking for. After talking it over with my then-husband, we had a consult with the midwife. She agreed to take us on, and signed us up for birth classes with her doula friend.

I thought I was in labor off and on for weeks, but when the big day came there was absolutely no denying it. I called over one of the ladies I met in the birth class, we were due two days a part, and she is one of my good friends today. She brought food and sat with me for several hours. We were both shocked when my water broke on the couch while we were sitting there talking and laughing.

My midwife didn’t believe that I was in labor because I was able to talk through my contractions, but she was wrong. After sitting with me for several hours my doula left because I was able to fall asleep through the contractions for a few hours. Both women ended up missing the birth!

Ava was born in the bathroom shortly after midnight weighing in at 10lbs 10oz…. 20 days past her due date. It was the most empowering experience of my life. I felt like I could go conquer the world! Here is the entire birth of my second.

My third birth was very interesting. I had prodromal labor for weeks. I lost my mucous plug in the bathroom at the library with my two young daughters in tow. I didn’t think I was going to endure the ride home. The contractions were almost unbearable. My birth ball was my best friend and I walked around for weeks feeling like the baby’s head was just right there.

The last half of my labor was in the birth pool. The water was so warm, and I slept off and on for probably an hour or so. I remember Ava laughing at me during contractions… she thought the noises I was making were hilarious. She wasn’t even three yet, so I imagine that I did sound funny to her. Kiah wanted none of it, and she hung out with my dad. Samuel was born into the water and he was my smallest baby at 7lbs 10oz. I remember how tiny he felt and looked compared to the girls. You can read my third birth here.

How did you balance breastfeeding and managing your household?
D: I did breastfeed all three of my children. I knew it was something I wanted to do with my first, but didn’t really look into classes or resources. I would say I did half formula/half breastfeeding with her. She weaned at 10 months old.

My second nursed up until I was around 6 weeks pregnant with my third. She weaned at a little over 2.5 years old. I was much more bold with nursing in public, took classes, read books and had a good support network of like-minded women.

I weaned my third shortly before his third birthday. We attended La Leche League meetings often, and at one point I even worked towards becoming a leader.

I wore all of my babies and would nurse with them in the carriers when I could. It was hard keeping care of the younger ones, but puzzles, building blocks, cartoons, outings with friends helped me through it.

How do you balance work and motherhood? How do you carve out time for yourself?
D: I don’t balance well at all! I am continuously striving for balance, and every time I think I’ve found it, something shifts and I’m figuring it all out again. Keeping a journal on my main blog of our daily lives is therapeutic for me, so is knitting. I’ve been making a point to have Moms Night Out regularly this year….and that is something I’m going to make sure to keep up with.

What is your biggest parenting challenge right now?
D: Expecting too much of my children. They are still quite young, still learning the world, learning to manage their emotions, and I’m too hard on them. I’m 34 and still trying to figure life out. I yell to much and have realized that when I do that they only hear my loud voice, not my words. I’m working on yelling less. I yell less than I did a year or two ago, but still more than I would like to.

I can easily get caught up in what society says my children should be doing, what they think children should know, how they think children should behave. Society isn’t in my home, and society isn’t living our lives. It’s important to me to check myself on why I believe what I do and to make sure my children enjoy their childhoods.

Who is your child-rearing support group?
D: I have a fantastic group of amazing women in my life. We are like-minded in some areas and not at all in others. I love them because they’ve always been there for me and my kids. They’ve been there when I was depressed, happy, confused, and when I needed someone to tell me that I’m a good mom, but also call me out on my stuff.

The ones who are local, I get together with as often as possible, and the ones back home, I talk to on the phone either every day, or as often as our schedules allow.

What is the most important value, ideal or philosophy that you want to impart to your children?
D: I want them to know that being different is ok and perfection is not required.
I want them to be kind and loving.
I want them to draw their own conclusions about why they believe in something.

What advice would you give to a new mom?
D: Find like-minded mothers. They don’t need to believe everything you do, but it makes motherhood easier when you have people in your life who share similar values/philosophies. Don’t read these books by so-called experts. Most of them don’t even have children of their own. Chances are some new advice/research will pop up in a few months anyway.

If you have newborn, sleep when the baby sleeps. Seriously. The laundry and dishes can wait. Ask for help when you need it…your friends really do enjoy helping. They wouldn’t offer if they didn’t really mean it. If your children are preschool-elementary age. Let them play! Let them be children. Accept your child for who she is, not who you think they should be. Make time for yourself. Hang out with your girlfriends. Chat on social media if you can’t get out, call them, text them. Make a point to stay connected with them.

Where can we find you online?
D: Get updates whenever I post when you subscribe to my email list.
Let’s build community with Facebook.
Chat with me in a 140 characters or less about the craziness of daily life on Twitter.
Get sucked into all the goodness of Pinterest with me.
Are you on Instagram? Me too!
We can’t forget Google+ and Bloglovin.

You can read Darcel’s articles for Baby and Blog here.

Запись Meet Our New Writer, Darcel впервые появилась Baby & Blog | Celebrating Black Mommyhood.

Tell us about yourself.
L: I live in Chicago. I am a stay-at-home-mom who works a little bit. I’m a birth doula, and I teach childbirth classes.

What are your life interests and passions?
L: I’m passionate about Jesus and the Church. I like to cook and bake and have learned a lot in the past few years about nourishing food, my current favorite being chicken pho. I’m fascinated by the incredible nature of pregnancy and birth. As we’re gearing up to homeschool our kids, I’m digging back into education, which was my major in college.

Tell us about your children.
L: We have two kids – Caleb, 4 and Lily, 3. They are awesome – truly a joy and a blessing. Caleb is very curious and outgoing.  He loves knowing how things work and helping Daddy with projects. Caleb’s favorite place is outside anywhere.  Lily is sweet and sassy! She’s mostly a mama’s girl and loves being held.  She enjoys playing with dolls and Legos.

Tell us about your births.
L: Caleb’s birth was a straightforward and textbook natural birth.  My water broke one day past my due date.  We walked at the mall, walked in our neighborhood, and walked in the waiting room.  Contractions slowly got stronger, and I was laboring pretty actively by the time I was admitted that night. My midwife was great and really helpful.  I was pretty free in my hospital room and spent lots of time in the shower.  I pushed for 2+ hours and he was born 23 hours after my water broke – 8 lbs 3 oz. It was hard but wonderful.

With Lily, I was induced at 37 weeks because she was measuring small (technically IUGR – intrauterine growth restriction) and my fluid was decreasing significantly. I had just trained as a doula and was frustrated as I watched a med-free birth disappear. It was Valentines’ Day and the day before my birthday, so we dropped Caleb off and ate a fantastic dinner before checking in at the hospital.

They started Pitocin in the late evening.  Mike slept some and I labored overnight. Pitocin contractions were really crappy and being tethered to the bed made me mad, so I had trouble staying focused. We hadn’t met with our doula yet, and I had asked her to hold off (HUGE MISTAKE!) since Mike didn’t know her. At 10 the next morning, I was dilated to 4 cm.  Totally exhausted, I opted for the epidural and slept until that afternoon when I felt tiny Lily literally slip into my birth canal.  She was born 25 minutes later – 5 lbs 7oz. My midwife said my placenta was indeed “funky”, and it was wise that we had induced. This was a huge relief to me.  The day was extra special because it was my 30^th birthday!

How did you manage breasfeeding?
L: I nursed Caleb until 13 months and Lily until 15 months. I loved breastfeeding, though the first time around was extremely challenging. I don’t remember ever considering not breastfeeding. I think it was just a natural extension of the rest of my life.

Interestingly, both kids were kind of weaned for the other one.  I had some early problems with Lily’s pregnancy (placenta previa) and decided to wean Caleb to avoid any possible worsening. Lily was still nursing in the morning when Caleb started potty training, and I just couldn’t do both – inevitably there was pee all over the floor.

In the early days of breastfeeding Lily, I “managed” the household by sitting Caleb in front of the TV while nursing his sister.  Later, breastfeeding just amounted to some household chores taking a backseat.  My floors were dirty, laundry was rarely folded, I didn’t shower, etc.

7. How do you balance work and motherhood? How do you carve out time for yourself?
L: My work is pretty minimal, but I try to maintain boundaries to be able to be fully present in what I’m doing.  I leave the house one night a week and work at a local coffee shop for about 5 hours. I try to only spend one other time slot (usually a naptime) working.

I try my hardest to get up early – between 5 and 5:30. (Ok, mostly 5:30, sometimes 6.) I use this time to read, pray and think through the day ahead.  I’ve found the biggest challenge with early waking is the discipline of going to bed the night before, but it’s always worth the peace that comes the next day. Our house is happier when I do this, but it’s definitely not all the time.

Naptime is a staple. When my oldest doesn’t nap, he does a rest/play time alone. I use the time for chores/dinner prep/meaningless blog surfing/work/napping. This daily recharge is really helpful for me.  I know that as my kids get older I will try to maintain it in some form.

What is your biggest parenting challenge right now?
L: Just one? I struggle with staying patient. I deeply desire to parent with peace but often struggle to remain calm. 

Who is your child-rearing support group?
L: My husband and I are a team, for sure. Our families are long distance but still involved and supportive.  Our church is our family, and we are loved well by many people there.

What is the most important value, ideal or philosophy that you want to impart to your children?
L: I want them to know they are loved and rescued by God and that Jesus is the most incredible treasure, worth more than anything else the world has to offer.

What advice would you give to a new mom?
L: Sometimes, you have to take it an hour at a time.

Lindsey is a new writer for Baby and Blog, specializing in natural birth. See her previous articles here, and look out for more content from her in the coming weeks ?

Запись Baby Love: Lindsey, Caleb and Lily впервые появилась Baby & Blog | Celebrating Black Mommyhood.

Introduce yourself.
A: I live in Los Angeles, California. Every mother is a working mother ? but currently I do not clock-in to a job that earns a salary. I have always been interested in music, poetry and digital media, video production, and graphic art.  I am passionate about education, pan-african culture, history, health, and my faith.

How has becoming a mother impacted the pace and direction of your life?
A: It has totally taken the focus off me and directed it towards my children.  With every decision I make they are at the forefront of my mind.

From the articles you’ve contributed, it’s clear that you have a passion for education. Where does that come from? Why do you find education to be so important?
A: I have a Masters in Education and have 8 years of experience in the classroom teaching middle and high school.  Most of that experience has been at schools where children have been kicked out of their traditional school because of behavior and/or academic problems.  In California we call these continuation schools, in other areas I have heard them referred to as alternative schools.  Although I often had some very advanced students and a few that were right on grade level, most of my students were extremely far behind.  I am talking about 17-20 year old students who read at a 3rd-5th grade level.  My passion for education comes from working in public schools and seeing how much work needs to be done.

How do you carve out time for yourself in the midst of marriage and motherhood?
A: Ha Ha. That is one thing I have not mastered yet.  Sometimes an evening or early morning meditation helps.  But this is one area I need to get better at.

What is your biggest parenting challenge right now?
A: Modeling patience for my daughters.  They are both toddlers and demand a lot of attention.  It can sometimes feel overwhelming, but being patient and modeling what patience looks like is my goal.

Who is your child-rearing support group?
A: My family and friends.

What is the most important value, ideal or philosophy that you want to impart to your children?
A: To love yourself, and rely on that love regardless of how the world treats you.

What advice would you give to a new mom?
A: Know that everyone will have an opinion about how you raise your children.  Expect that.  Don’t let it bother you when opinions manifest into unsolicited advice and criticism.  It will happen.  Sometimes advice can be helpful, but most people do not know how to give advice without sounding condescending or  putting themselves on a pedestal while shaming your parenting skills.  Pray for them and be the best parent you know how to be.

Angele is a wife to a wonderful creative husband, mother to two beautiful intelligent daughters and a lover of art, education and laughter.  She is the creator and author of ABC remix.

Запись Meet Our New Writer, Angele! впервые появилась Baby & Blog | Celebrating Black Mommyhood.

Meet, Ebony, one of our new Baby and Blog writers.

Tell us about your life.
E: I live in Michigan, in a rural town an hour from Detroit.  Currently,  I work part-time for a university doing policy advocacy work promoting the interests of Michigan women living in or near poverty.  I recently finished my PhD in public health, where I focused my research on African American mothers and stress.  My life passions include my faith in Jesus, my family, supporting women, writing, reading, music and crafts.  All these things sustain me emotionally and spiritually.  I have two kids, Mark, who is eight, and Maya, who is four.  My husband’s name is Mark.

Tell us about your kids!
E: Both my kids are pretty precocious, always saying something that seems beyond their years.  Mark is always “on”, ready to go on an adventure or the life of the party.  He’s also sensitive and kind.

Maya is quiet, low-key, and thoughtful.  She has an infectious laugh and loves to cling to her parents and her brother.  If it were up to her, she would just stay home with family.

How were your births?
E: My kids’ birth stories are as different as their personalities.  When I was pregnant with my son, I was a single woman working full time and going to school.  My water broke three days after I went on maternity leave.  I didn’t start contractions until I agreed to getting induced with Pitocin, which is no joke!  My  delivery room was full of folk–my girlfriend, my good male friend and my son’s father (now my husband) and others who came to visit off and on. After 6-7 hours of Pitocin-induced contractions and multiple attempts to cope with the pain (walking, shower, ball), I agreed to sedation.  After that, I couldn’t bring myself to go back to the pain and got an epidural.  Finally, 27 hours after my water broke, I hadn’t dilated past 4cm.  I agreed to a C-section.

My daughter’s birth was very different.  I knew I wanted to be a VBAC, so I chose a nurse-midwives’ office.  Like now, she was clingy.  On my due date, I was not close to delivering, so I had my membranes stripped. The next day, the contractions started.  After laboring all night, my then-fiance and I went to the hospital where the midwife eventually sent me home with sleeping pills and a guess that I’d be back later that evening.  I went home, ate lunch, took a pill, and went to sleep.  I woke up four hours later to my water breaking and in intense pain.  This time, I was admitted by the same midwife.  “Told you you’d be back!” the midwife chuckled.  I got an epidural, but before it kicked in fully, I delivered my daughter vaginally, less than two hours after being admitted.

I have no regrets about either of my births, because I believe they happened as they were supposed to.  They also provided valuable lessons about parenting–sometimes it won’t end up like we’d expect.  That has been a struggle for me.

What is your biggest parenting challenge?
E: Right now, my biggest challenge is patience.  My son has ADHD, which can be demanding.  He is very energetic.  I always say my daughter has the best big brother, because he’s always down for playing or imagining.  But I am an introvert, and so I need quiet time and space sometimes.  It’s hard to get that, and when I don’t, I get irritable and short-tempered.  But I am learning to be proactive, taking time when I need it, before it gets intense.

Who is your child-rearing support group?
E: That’s especially important because I am managing a lot–raising two kids while working and taking care of a household keeps me busy.  More and more, I try to be present as much as possible when I am with my family, because I am so busy with work sometimes.  I also rely on my sisters in Christ, my biological younger sister, and my mom for support.  We encourage each other, even keeping each others’ kids when we need a break.  Sometimes mothering is hard, but focusing on why I do it is important.

What is the most important value, ideal or philosophy you want to impart to your children?
E: Ultimately, I want my kids to put Christ first.  If they do that, everything else will fall into place.  They will be caring, loving, considerate, responsible, family-oriented and willing to stand up for what’s right no matter the consequences.  That makes the stressful times worth it.

What advice would you give to a new mom?
E: If there was one bit of advice I’d give a new mom, it’d be this: take care of yourself because only then  can you take care of others.

Ebony Reddock is a wife and mother of an eight year old and a four year old, as well as a writer, researcher and advocate for mothers.  She blogs at her webpage,  ecreddock.com

Запись Baby Love: Ebony, Mark and Maya впервые появилась Baby & Blog | Celebrating Black Mommyhood.

Introduce yourself!
D: Hello everyone! I’m DeAnna, and I’m writing you from the beautiful state of Colorado. I have lived here for the past 23 years, but I originally hail from the great state of Texas. I am a stay-at home mother, and have been since a few months before my son was born. In my former life, I worked for many years in retail management. Then I went back to school to become a psychotherapist. I plan on opening a private practice and seeing adults and teenagers once both of my children are in school full-time.

I am a happily married mommy (: I met my husband when we were both in college many moons ago. We’ve been married since 2007. He is my best friend, and I am glad that he is by my side as we go through this journey called life.

Tell us about your children.
D: I have two children. A boy I call George who is 3, and a girl I call Georgina who is almost 4 months. I would describe my children as awesome ? George just started part-time preschool this fall and he is full of questions, many of which he likes to ask over and over and over. and over. :p He makes my husband and I laugh a lot, and he is just an all-around great kid. Georgina currently enjoys grabbing her feet, rolling from back to front (and then crying because she doesn’t know what to do next, ) and smiling at most everyone she meets. She currently doesn’t enjoy wearing socks.

Tell us about your births.
D: When I was pregnant with George, I decided early on that I wanted to try to have an unmedicated, low intervention birth. I read a bunch of books and watched the documentaries The Business of Being Born and Pregnant in America. Both of these films talk about the medical establishment and how its goals are not always in line with the goals of parents. To make a long story short, I went in for my 40-week appointment and was told that I was on the verge of having pre-eclampsia. I was feeling fine, but the doctor that saw me suggested I be admitted that day. I ended up being admitted the next day, given Cytotec to open my cervix, had my water “accidentally” broken by the nurse as she was checking me, dilated to 10 centimeters, and then pushed for over 2 hours (even though I never felt the urge) trying to get George to come down the birth canal. It wasn’t happening, so I was told by the doctor that I needed to have a c-section. I always knew that birth plans don’t always go “according to plan, ” so I had read in my books what to do if/when you are going in for a caesarean. Healthy mama, healthy baby was the outcome–which is always the ultimate goal. I also knew that I had consented to everything that happened during the birth process, so I wasn’t too broken up about it. (Actually, I was feeling a little broken up about it immediately afterwards, but I told myself that that was totally normal. I also said that if I was still feeling upset about it several months later, that I would look into going to talk to someone about my feelings. When that time came, I was feeling fine–so I didn’t feel the need to follow up.)

With Georgina, I was kind of on the fence as to whether I just wanted to schedule another C-section or try for a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean.) I did end up scheduling a caesarean, but I pushed my doctor to make it as far out as possible. I also started googling “how to have a successful VBAC”, and everything that I read said to hire a doula. I hadn’t been too keen on a doula the first time around, I thought it seemed artificial having some woman you didn’t know hanging around during one of the most important and personal times of your life. But I met with two, and really clicked with one, so I hired her. Four days before Georgina’s due date (Saturday, ) I started having contractions, but they weren’t that strong or that regular. Sunday, I was having contractions and they were getting stronger, but still not regular. That evening I was out to dinner with my husband and when I went to the bathroom I saw that I lost my mucus plug. I got really excited, because that was not something that had happened with George. I called my doula and told her what had been going on and she was like, “That’s great! Feel free to call me again if anything changes.”

Monday morning, I woke up and the contractions were getting stronger and more regular. I called my doula and asked her to come over. She got there around 10:30 or 11. I labored at home for several hours. During the contractions, I would say to myself “relax and breathe”, and just got in whatever position I felt most comfortable. My doula did acupressure, aromatherapy and massage, and always had suggestions for whatever questions I posed to her. We walked to a park nearby and also had lunch. At about 7:30 or 8, my contractions were close to 5-1-1 (five minutes apart, one minute long for an hour, ) and I decided that I was ready to go to the hospital. My husband and I drove there and she followed us in her car. When the nurse checked me at the hospital, she said I was 5 to 6 cm dilated. I had wanted to be 7 or more, but both the nurse and my doula were very happy with 5-6. After talking to the doctor on duty, the nurse also said it would be okay for me to have intermittent monitoring and to get into the tub if I wanted. I was really happy to hear that, because my OB had told me that neither of those things would be possible with a VBAC. So, I got checked in and decided I wanted to get into the tub.

I got out of the tub after a few minutes, and eventually it was time to start my intermittent monitoring and also put in my hep lock (the beginning stage of an IV). As the nurse was putting in my hep lock, I felt this really strange sensation and yelled out, “Something’s happening!” That something was my water breaking. The nurse checked me and said that I was complete, and that it was time to start pushing! My husband and I were both surprised and excited that it had happened so quickly. A part of me also started to get a little apprehensive, because the pushing phase was where I felt like things had started to go downhill with my first birth. This was when I came closest to freaking out, I felt like I had lost my center a little bit. But my doula was there to calm me down and suggested that I make noises from deep in my belly instead of my chest, because that would give me more power for pushing. I followed her advice, and after 20 minutes of pushing, Georgina was born. Both my husband and I were in a daze saying, “I did it!” “You did it!” over and over. It was a great experience, and I am so glad that it turned out the way that I hoped.

I feel really lucky to have been able to have the experience of two different ways of bringing a baby into this world. You can never predict how things are going to go down, and I am happy that the 2nd time around I had a staff that was onboard with trying to help me have the kind of birth that I wanted. I also know that having a c-section is not the end of the world. It truly is about having a healthy mom and healthy baby. I went into the VBAC knowing that I might end up with another c-section, and that would have been fine with me. I just knew that I wanted to try for a VBAC, and if I didn’t at least try for one, I would probably regret it. I’m glad that I listened to myself, and wasn’t afraid to go after something that I wanted.

Did you breastfeed? How did you balance breastfeeding and managing your home?
D: Yes, I breastfed my son for 10 months. My goal was a year, but he started biting me. Having your nipple bitten feels exactly like what you think it feels like–it hurts!! There are suggestions on the internet for what you can do when biting happens, and I tried some of those, but they didn’t work. I was pretty much over it at that point, so I quit without any regrets. I hope to nurse my daughter for as long as I did my son, but I am not going to beat myself up over it if it doesn’t happen. I chose to breastfeed my children because breast milk is full of magic ? It helps your children build healthy immune systems, promotes bonding between mama, and baby, and helps you lose weight after you’ve given birth. Plus formula is dang expensive. As far as managing it, I just try to do the things that I can do while breastfeeding, like being on the computer, reading, or journaling. I will also spend time gazing lovingly into Georgina’s eyes if the mood strikes.

How do you carve out time for yourself?
D: I like to consider myself a pretty organized person that always has short-term, mid-range, and long-term goals. Pretty much every morning I will make myself a to-do list of what I would like to get accomplished that day. I have a number of systems in place that help my household run as smoothly as possible. I carve out time for myself, by first recognizing that time for myself is important. I cannot be a good mom and wife if I am not first a good DeAnna. I make it a priority, just like all the other things that are important to me. To give just one example, I get up a few times a week at 5:15 a.m. to work out, because I love the way that I feel during and after a workout. It also makes me happy knowing that I am doing what I can to keep my body healthy so that I can hopefully be around for my husband and kids for a long, long time.

What is your biggest parenting challenge right now.
D: With my son, I would say staying patient when he tests boundaries in the way that all 3-year-olds do. With my daughter I would say taking the bottle, so that I can be away from her for more than an hour at a time.

Who is your child-rearing support group?
D: We live close to both sets of grandparents, and they offer us much appreciated support. My mom comes over once a week and stays with our kids so I can run errands, hang out with friends or just do whatever. Sometimes I don’t have anything planned and all four of us just spend time together. My in-laws also watch our son one night on the weekend, so that my husband and I can have date night (with our daughter, who makes a very cute third wheel ? My husband takes a very active role in child-rearing. Once he gets home from work and on the weekends, we basically tag team to make sure that both children’s needs are being met.

How do you determine your kids are well-adjusted?
D: They both are quick to smile. I try to have a consistent routine for both of them, because children thrive on structure. Our son often tells us that he loves us. He gets along well with others, and neither child has any issues that are of any major concern to us. ::knock on wood::

What is the most important value, ideal or philosophy that you would like to impart to your children?
D: I would like for both of my children to be kind and compassionate people that treat every living being they encounter with dignity and respect.

What advice would you give to a new mom?
D: Oh boy. I love to give advice and I love to get advice. I always ask people I meet that have been married a long time what they think the secret is to a happy marriage. (Their answers always contain some variation of, “Stick it out through the hard parts.”) And when I was pregnant with George, I loved to hear advice from people that had already been doing the mom thing.

One piece of advice I really like is “A baby never died from crying.” If you ever feel yourself getting really stressed, it is always ok to put the baby down in a safe place and go somewhere away from the crying to calm down for a bit. Babies’ cries are meant to stress us out, that’s how they ensure that someone will come to them and take care of them.

Remember that your kids are not your property, they are their own separate human beings, with thoughts, feelings and desires. You should certainly do what you can to mold their behavior, but you cannot control them. What you can control is how you respond to them.

Read to your kids. It is never to early to start, and even when it seems like they don’t know what’s going on, I can assure you they are getting something out of it. Put your baby to bed drowsy, but not asleep. Try not to argue in front of your children. Studies have shown that even babies that are just a few months old–their blood pressure goes up when they hear people arguing.

Learn about child development so you know what is reasonable and unreasonable to expect from your child behaviorally at different ages.

Control what media your children are exposed to. Violence and sexual images are not appropriate for children, they are not developmentally ready to process them.

Don’t let your whole identity become that of “Mommy.” If you sacrifice everything for your children, you will undoubtedly begin to resent them if and when they don’t give you what you are expecting in return for such a sacrifice.

Don’t let your pride keep you from apologizing to your children when you screw up. Our children need to know that we are not perfect and that we make mistakes. We can model for them how to act when someone else is hurt due to our mistakes. Finally and most importantly: On a daily basis, strive to show your children through your words and actions that you love them unconditionally. You are probably the most important person to them in the world, and it is vital to show them that you think they are pretty great too ?

DeAnna is a new writer for Baby and Blog! Look out for more content from her in the coming weeks ?

Запись Baby Love: DeAnna, George and Georgina впервые появилась Baby & Blog | Celebrating Black Mommyhood.

Introduce yourself.
S: Hello! My name is Sundi and my family and I live right outside of Atlanta, in Douglasville, GA. My husband and I have four children.

I became a stay at home mom shortly after the birth of my oldest child 6 years ago. I was an English teacher for almost four years. While staying home with my children, I received my Master’s in school library media, and fulfilled one of my goals of becoming a school librarian. I recently went back to work full-time as a school library media specialist. I absolutely love my job, and I feel blessed to have it. I would say that the ideal situation for me would be to work part time until my youngest begins school.

I am married.

Tell us about your children.
S: I have four children, two boys and two girls, which I always dreamed of having! R.J. is 6, India is 5, Alexa is 18 months old, and Braydon is 6 months old. My first two are a year a part, both born in September. The last two are a year a part, both born in March. No, I did not plan it that way, especially having them that close together, but I love it! My children are very outgoing, high spirited, intelligent, curious, and full of life! There is never a dull moment around them. They keep me laughing (when I’m not pulling my hair out)! My baby boy seems like he’s going to be the mellow one, which I’m keeping my fingers crossed for. I need at least one of my children to have my quiet, laid back personality!

Tell us about your births.
S: With my first child I read all about natural childbirth, and was totally prepared to birth naturally. I ended up with a C-section, and was very disappointed with that. I felt cheated out of truly experiencing birth. A part of me felt violated that I had been cut open to deliver my child, when I felt it was an unnecessary C-section, which I know doctors can be prone to perform. Since I had my daughter a year later, I went ahead with another C-section. I felt more positive about that C-section, because I knew it was coming, and was mentally prepared.

When I was pregnant with my third child, I knew that I wanted to try for a VBAC (vaginal birth after Cesarean). The doctor that I went to said that she would not support that decision, and how could I live with myself if I pushed for a VBAC and possibly have a brain damaged child because of my uterus possibly rupturing. Her scare tactics did not work on me. I did my research and I decided to change doctors and find one that would support my desire for a VBAC. I found Dr. Joseph Tate, who is a VBAC supporter, and he helped me deliver my third child naturally!! I was so happy and exhausted when I finally gave birth to her. In a way that birth was healing for me, and let me know that my body could deliver a baby the way it was meant to.

My fourth baby was born by VBAC a year later. This time I had an epidural!! I was thankful for my natural birth experience, but I did not want to go drug free EVER again! I loved that epidural. My son ended up being my biggest baby at 9 lbs, 4 oz.

Did you breastfeed? How did you manage it?
S: I have breastfed all of my children. I didn’t even stop breastfeeding while pregnant, because honestly, I felt so guilty for getting pregnant so fast that I couldn’t fathom making my children stop nursing. I tandem nursed with both sets of children. Basically I would feed the newborn, and after the baby finished, if the toddler wanted to nurse, then I would nurse the toddler. Sometimes both at the same time. Crazy, I know! But, again, I was not going to deny my toddler because I had a new baby. I have nursed my children until they were around 2 years old. So, I’m currently nursing my 6 month and 18 month old.

Since I’m working, I pump twice a day at work. I nurse my baby in the morning before I leave, as soon as I get home from work, in the evenings, and all weekend. Breastfeeding is more time consuming in the beginning when you have to nurse around the clock. Right now, I’m able to manage my household duties pretty well while nursing. I’m able to chat with the other children, help my son with homework, or just rest while I nurse.

How do you balance work and motherhood? How do you carve out time for yourself?
S: So far balancing work and motherhood is going well. I’ve been working almost 3 months, and it has been pretty smooth. That’s mainly because I have a great support team. My mother watches my children while I work. If I didn’t have her to care for them, I probably would have stayed at home for another two years. My evenings and weekends are basically devoted to my family, and I enjoy it a lot. I enjoy being able to get out of the house and do something that I enjoy. Again, though, I would prefer to work part time, and I’m looking into trying to work part time. I honestly feel that when you have young children, as much as possible, one parent should try to stay at home. But, I’m doing what I have to do right now, and hopefully soon, I can scale down to part time. I usually make time for myself in the evening after all the children are asleep. This doesn’t always happen, but I try.

What is your biggest parenting challenge right now?
S: My biggest challenge right now is juggling 4 children! Although I always wanted to have 4 children, I imagined that they would be spaced farther apart. I enjoy loving on my children and giving them the attention that they need, but it can be very hard to make sure to do that. I had it going well when I had three, but having four has somehow thrown me off my groove, and I’m working right now to make sure that all of my children feel included, loved, and paid attention to.

Who is your child-rearing support group, and how does your husband contribute to child-rearing?
S: My parents, husband, parenting books, and helpful information that I find on mommy related blogs. My husband is good about affirming the children. He makes sure to build them up with positive praise, and also shows and tells them how much they are loved and adored.

What is the most important value, ideal or philosophy that you want to impart to your children?
S: I want to impart to them to try to live a life that is pleasing to God. I hope that they end up being strong Christian men and women who work hard, have careers that they enjoy, have a generous heart, treat others with kindness, and choose their spouse wisely.

What advice would you give to a new mom?
S: Enjoy your children. They are blessings. Sometimes, when the nights are hard, or the days are hard, you can forget that these little people are huge blessings from God.

Sundi is a new writer for Baby and Blog! Look out for more content from her in the coming weeks ?

Запись Baby Love: Sundi, RJ, India, Alexa and Braydon впервые появилась Baby & Blog | Celebrating Black Mommyhood.

Introduce yourself.
A: My name is Alicia and I live in Raleigh, NC. I’m a working mom – I teach in the classroom during the day, and I teach an online class in the evenings.

I am married to one super-awesome stay-at-home-dad/comic-book writer. (We all wear a lot of hats in this house.)

Tell us about your children.
A: We have one child – Miss Petals, age 2. She is smart, hilarious (sometimes downright cheeky), high energy, sweet, and willful. Not only do I never know what she’s going to say, I also am never quite sure how she will react to new situations. She keeps me on my toes!

Tell us about your birth experience.
A: Interestingly enough, everyone knew that it was time for me to have the baby before I did. I was in the library with my students, helping them get started on a research project, when the librarian tells me that I have a very important phone call. I take the phone and one of the hospital nurses tells me that it’s time for me to come in and have my baby. “Umm…no, I feel fine, ” I replied. She informed me that I had some serious preeclampsia symptoms and would need to be induced…and that she’s already called my husband to tell him when she couldn’t get a hold of me. I turned around to see that the office and media staff, who knew that the hospital had called, had already gathered, eyes shining, just waiting for me to tell them the good news…that they knew before I did. Nearly two days and several labor inducing attempts later, the tiny baby was looking at my entire family with confusion.

Did you breastfeed?
A: I breastfed for nine months – and I would have done longer, I think, but the stress of pumping at home and at work was too great. As hard as it is to get away from the classroom for a quick bathroom break, it was even harder to get away for fifteen minutes every few hours. A couple of times, someone even tried to unlock and walk into my classroom, despite the covered windows, the cow sign on the door, and me yelling “SOMEONE’S IN HERE!”.

How do you balance work and motherhood? How do you carve out time for yourself?
A: This is a question that I still struggle with. Occasionally (and I hang my head in shame as I type this) I answer emails or grade papers from my iPhone while the kid climbs on things – or I step outside to make phone calls while she watches Sid the Science Kid.

What is your biggest parenting challenge right now?
A: Having a toddler. Actually, scratch that. Potty-training a toddler.

Who is your child-rearing support group?
A: My family (our families) is (are) very close – and her grandparents, aunts, and uncles are always happy to watch Petals, when they can. Besides that, my husband stays at home with Petals most days (she goes to daycare on Fridays) until I get home from work. Then he leaves for work and I hang with Petals until she goes to sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat. On Monday and Wednesday nights grandparents come over so that I can actually get work done (grading papers, responding to emails, making parent phone calls, lesson planning, progress reports, online meetings) and the other days we both do the best we can. We’re tired, but we’re making it work.

How do you determine that Petals is well-adjusted?
A: With two-year-olds, it’s hard to tell. Right now, she listens relatively well. She’s becoming more and more independent. She TALKS a ton! She is quite attached to both her father and me. She gives hugs and kisses, she loves school and learning. I think she’s doing okay.

What is the most important value, ideal or philosophy that you want to impart to your children?
A: Her father and I would say we are “spiritual, not religious” – mostly because we want her to listen to and follow the truth that is in her heart, rather than dogma. We want her to know that she’s fantastic – no matter who she is – and to set her moral compass by having respect for life and the lives of others.

What advice would you give to a new mom?
A: You’re probably not doing it “right” – whatever “right” is – but that’s okay, because none of us are. And if you are doing it right, could you give me a call and let me know what that is?

Alicia is a new writer for Baby and Blog! Look out for more content from her in the coming weeks ?

Запись Baby Love: Alicia and Petals впервые появилась Baby & Blog | Celebrating Black Mommyhood.

Introduce yourself:
L: My name is Leila and I’m a Jamaican expat living in Chicago. I am a work-from-home mommy! I created and edit two websites, Black Girl with Long Hair and this one, Baby and Blog! I’ve been married to my husband, Norman, for 3 years now ?

Tell us about your children.
L: I have one son. His name is Noah! He is now 12 months old. Noah is… well, Noah is quite a character. He is very determined and very funny. He is outgoing and extroverted like his Dad, and has smoldering intensity like his Mom, lol.

Can you give us a mini-version of your birth story?
L: My birth story is kind of funny because my contractions were mistaken for food poisoning! Let me explain…

Two weeks before my due date I started having what felt like mild menstrual cramps and I noticed blood in the toilet when I peed. I called my midwife, told her my symptoms, and she told me that there was no need for alarm. So I went about my day. The pain got progressively worse and I called my midwife who told me — again — that I was not in labor.

“What have you eaten lately?”, she asked.
“Well I had some cream cheese yesterday, and I’m kind of iffy with dairy, ” I replied.
“Well, it’s probably some mild food poisoning. You just have stomach cramps that are irritating your uterus.”

So… again… I went about my day.

By the time my husband came home from work, the cramps were so bad that I doubled over whenever they hit. I tried taking a nap, and got a few minutes of sleep. But when I woke up the cramps were so bad that I was howling in pain. I called my midwife a THIRD time and, in annoyance (shame on her!) she told me to come to the hospital to get some pain meds so I could sleep through the night.

Now, I’d started timing my contractions. But I thought (incorrectly) that cramping had to be evenly spaced to qualify as labor contractions. And mine were all over the place — some were 2 minutes apart, some were 16 minutes apart — so I thought it wasn’t real labor.

By the time we got to the hospital I was TOTALLY the stereotypical loud woman in labor. A nurse took me up to triage, did a checkup and matter-of-factly told me that I was 7 centimeters dilated.

That’s when I lost it. I was in total shock, angry at my midwife, and feeling totally unprepared. My mom wasn’t scheduled to arrive in town for another 2 weeks, we didn’t have all our baby stuff together, we didn’t even have my hospital bag or our camera. I started sobbing and a few minutes later I felt a flood of liquid gush out of me…

I tried, unsuccessfully to convince a nurse to give me drugs. She told me that it wasn’t a part of my birth plan and, even if it was, it was too late. I seriously wanted to cut her, lol.

Things calmed down when I got in the birthing tub. The hot water was the only thing that calmed me. It eased my contractions considerably (they still hurt like hell, though) and I was able to get little bits of sleep in between contractions.

A couple hours later, after about a half hour of intense pushing, Noah came shooting out!

Did you breastfeed? How did you balance breastfeeding and working?
L: I breastfed for 7 months, although I definitely suffered from ‘overthinking it’. My plan was to nurse and then pump all my ‘extra milk’. My first mistake was assuming that I would have extra milk! I had been on a ton of breastfeeding forums during my pregnancy and most mothers talked about having excess milk supply. I didn’t realize that that wasn’t the norm. So when my plan to pump my extra milk didn’t work out, I thought there was something wrong with me. I also learned that the pump is not as effective as the sucking motion in extracting milk from the breast, so the body, in turn, produces/replaces less milk after pumping. After 7 months of pumping/nursing drama my supply was pretty low and I was burnt out, so I just let it go. I’ve learned a lot for next time!

Managing breastfeeding and working was an insane challenge! I think I spent the whole first 6 months of Noah’s life walking around bra-less and, sometimes, shirt-less, lol. I just had to learn how to get more done with less time. Motherhood in general — and breastfeeding in particular — made me a much more efficient worker!

How do you balance work and motherhood? How do you carve out time for yourself?
L: I have a nanny. If you can afford it, GET ONE!!!! If not, crowdsource your child care as MUCH as possible. Friends, in-laws, grandparents… get as many people to pitch in and help as possible!

As far as carving out time for myself. It’s something I definitely prioritize. My mother’s parenting philosophy was put kids first, above all else. Now, in her later years, she’s shared that it was NOT a strategy that worked well for her because she lost a lot of herself in the parenting process. To honor my mother, it’s important for me to take care of myself as I raise my son. I want to model for him the kind of woman I hope he someday marries — one who knows how to love and to give, but also knows her worth and how she should be treated.

What is your biggest parenting challenge right now?
L: Finding and providing healthy outlets for Noah. His energy level is so high and he outgrows things (developmentally) very quickly. I am just trying to keep up. Also teaching him how to play nice with other kids. Like many toddlers, he doesn’t quite get the concept of sharing, and he doesn’t understand that you can’t just walk up to a kid and take his or her toy, lol.

Who is your child-rearing support group?
L: My husband and my mother-in-law.

How do you determine that your kids are happy and well-adjusted?
L: Noah learns and develops quickly, so I think that’s a sign that he’s well-adjusted. We try to keep our household full of love and free of negative emotion. I hope and pray this gives Noah the foundation he needs for happiness and confidence.

What is the most important value, ideal or philosophy that you want to impart to your children?
L: I want Noah to have a love or learning, and to know how to be resourceful. I want to know that, if he was dropped anywhere on the planet — in any culture or any situation — he could survive and thrive. I want him to question cultural and societal norms. And, most of all, I want him to have integrity.

What advice would you give to a new mom?
L: Parenting is not a competition, and it is NOT a sprint, so take things in stride. Give yourself time to learn. Identify the values that you want to pass down to your children, and be deliberate about conveying them.

Also, don’t get hung up on milestones and such. You have 18 whole years to raise your child. He or she will continually develop in this time. Some children bloom early, and others bloom late. So don’t worry about it.

Also, be grateful for your child! Children are a blessing, despite all the challenges. Shower him or her with love.

Запись Baby Love: Leila and Noah впервые появилась Baby & Blog | Celebrating Black Mommyhood.

Tell us about yourself!
D: I’m Didan Ashanta – a Jamaican living in the Greater Tokyo Area of Japan.

I’m currently a stay-at-home mother who is transitioning to a work-from-home lifestyle. I am a writer and as a teacher of English as a foreign language. I said ‘goodbye’ to a middle management position in corporate Jamaica a couple weeks before the birth of my daughter because I wanted to focus on my new role as a parent; and today, I want to ensure that I continue to be a constant rock for her in these her foundational years.

I’ve been married to “Mr. Amazing” (also known as Brad) since July 2006 and am enjoying this new chapter of our relationship, as parents, after more than 6 years of ‘just the two of us’. We have a shared worldview and life philosophy, making our new roles flow a little bit easier.

Tell us about your daughter.
D: I have one child and she is 9 months old. Her name is Mwalimu, which is Swahili for (Great) Teacher. She is a charming girl who draws you into her space – grabbing your attention and intriguing you. Very alert and attentive, she is always observing people and is enchanted by nature and music. Mwalimu loves hugs and kisses, and always gets delightful reactions when she puts on a smile. She has definitely taught me more in the past year than I ever imagined – I look forward to learning more!

Can you give us a mini-version of your birth story?
D: I was 38 weeks and the cervical mucus plug (operculum) was expelled on the Saturday afternoon. On Sunday, I had what I thought were Braxton Hicks’ contractions, so I used the opportunity to practise the deep breathing exercises I had learnt through Hypnobirthing to go through the day. However, in the late evening, my husband insisted that I visit the maternity ward for a check up and we were informed that I was already in labour and was 4 cm dilated. Five hours later, after some great coaching from my husband and lots of deep breathing with each contraction, Mwalimu Ashanta was born at 3:33am on New Year’s Eve. Having walked the path, I know that we don’t have to endure painful, traumatic births – it’s hard work, but it doesn’t have to be unpleasant.

Do you breastfeed? How did you juggle breastfeeding and working?
D: I am a big advocate of breastfeeding and so I was determined to do it. However, for the 1st two weeks of her life, I struggled with learning how to get my baby to latch properly. But, I was not going to give her formula! So, during that time I used a manual pump and also hand-expressed the breastmilk and we gave it to her in a bottle. All that while, I kept trying to breastfeed and then my determination paid off! Mwalimu has been exclusively breastfed from 3-weeks until she was 6 months old and she still breastfeeds today, while eating 3 meals from the family pot. For the first 3-4 months, I hardly got anything done, because I was just too exhausted and overwhelmed by all the new responsibilities and was still trying to be superwoman. But, now I realise that this is avoidable if you create a dependable support system during those early days – we need it.

How do you balance work and motherhood? How do you carve out time for yourself?
D: My key to achieving balance has been learning to communicate my weaknesses: I’m not superwoman and I can’t do it by myself. So, I’ve had to learn how to seek assistance from those around me. Plus, the older and more independent my baby becomes, the more work I’m able to get done each day. I just try to write things down (lack of sleep affects the memory) and I constantly check my priorities as I tackle various tasks and manage my time. I’m learning how to enjoy brief moments of solitude, but I frequently remind myself that these years when Mwalimu monopolises my time will go by swiftly. So, I just try to be present in the moments before they’re all gone.

What is your biggest parenting challenge right now?
D: My daughter’s education! I know that home is the first school and that the first 5-7 years of a child’s life will shape the adult she becomes. So, I take full responsibility for Mwalimu’s education – even if she is to be enrolled in a mainstream school. Each day, I struggle with whether or not I am doing enough to guide her along the path she should go. But, everyday, I’m also realising that I should just sit back and learn from her and with her. It is a scary but exciting road to trod.

Who is your child-rearing support group?
D: My husband and I just moved to Japan this year and are still adjusting to all the changes that come with it. This also means that we are having to build a new community, while maintaining the long-distance connection with those back home.

Brad is an amazing life partner, so we tag-team almost everything and we regularly discuss and assess our parenting approach just to ensure that we are heading in the same direction. He has a demanding job but he is ever-ready to attend to our daughter’s needs – feeding, diaper duty, romping, evening walks, story time or even a broad chest to fall asleep on. I’m truly grateful for him!

How do you determine that your kids are well-adjusted?
D: I try to keep abreast with various child development resources and ensure that the medical professionals are satisfied with Mwalimu’s pace of development. But, my main goal each day is that she is happy and healthy. A calm spirit and a ready smile are very important to me. Therefore, I try to secure a caring and safe environment for her to explore, so that anxiety and distress don’t interfere with her developing worldview.

What is the most important value, ideal or philosophy that you want to impart to your children?
D: Mwalimu must never forget that she is African! She must tirelessly pursue knowledge as long as she lives and ensure that she lives for the liberation and empowerment of African peoples everywhere.

What advice would you give to a new mom?
D: Loving your child means understanding that you are the facilitator of their best life. Give them these few years of your life. A career, a lover, and other assets can be attained later. But, your child will only be a child right now. Also remember that, parenting is not a job, and your child owes you nothing! You are simply returning the favour of being raised and honouring the members of your community who raised you.

Didan is a new writer for Baby and Blog! Look out for more content from her in the coming weeks ?

Запись Baby Love: Didan and Mwalimu впервые появилась Baby & Blog | Celebrating Black Mommyhood.