Introduce yourself and your children.
K: I am Kenya Topps, and I live in Shannon, MS. I work full time as a High School Counselor, mother, and wife. I have two beautiful children. They are Robert Topps II, better known as Deuce and Rhylee Topps. My son is 4 yrs old and my daughter is 2 yrs old. We also have a 7 yr old house dog, a Yorkie named Pedro, who was our first child, and 6 outside dogs that are German Shepherds.
How would you describe your children?
K: My children are very rambunctious and full of energy. There is never a dull moment in our house! They are also the sweetest and most caring people that I know. A day doesn’t go by without my son complimenting me on how beautiful I am or how much he loves my hair or what I am wearing. He absolutely loves his mommy! My daughter is just as loving. She always looks out for her brother and makes sure he gets whatever treat or reward she has. You can’t give her something without giving him the same also. They are very close and love to be with one another. When they are around, you can be sure to get plenty of hugs, kisses, and I love yous!
What is your birth story?
K: My birth story with my son was perfect. I walked and walked until two days before my due date, he was ready to come. After taking all that I could with my contractions, I went to the hospital at about 1 am. I got my epidural at 4 cm, and he was born at 9:24 the next morning weighing 7 lbs 2 oz and 19 inches long.
My daughter on the other was not so great. When I was about 7 months, I started having pains and had to go in. I learned that I had preeclampsia and had to stay at the hospital. They started giving me steroids just in case the worse happened and they had to take her. My blood pressure went up and would not go back down, which caused me to have a seizure, forcing the doctors to do an emergency C-Section. My daughter was born at 33 weeks weighing in at 3 lbs 4 oz. After being in the hospital for two weeks, she was able to go home, weighing 3 lbs 14 oz.
Did you breastfeed?
K: I decided to breastfeed both of my love bugs because I heard that it was the best choice and that they would be healthier babies. I also felt like it was a great bonding experience for me and my children. With my son, it was very easy to nurse and pump daily. I nursed him for the first 8 months of his life naturally and pumped the remaining two months until he started drinking whole milk. With my daughter, it was much more difficult to do because I wasn’t able to nurse because she was in the NICU for two weeks. They would not let me because they had to measure her intake of food. I did, however, pump but without having her latch on right after birth, it made it harder to produce milk. Once she was able to come home, I was able to nurse. I nursed her until her first birthday.
How did you balance breastfeeding and working/managing your household?
K: It was very difficult to balance trying to nurse both of my kids once I went back to work because they wouldn’t take a bottle right away and preferred my breast. Once I found a bottle that worked and found a good pumping schedule to maintain my milk supply, things seemed to go smoother. I also had the advantage of leaving work to go nurse.
How do you balance work and being a mom?
K: It was hard to balance work as a mom because of the transition of being at home with my kids and them having to go to daycare. You always feel like something’s going to happen or they’ll get sick.
What is your biggest parenting challenge right now?
K: It’s hard because my husband is a coach of multiple sports so I consider myself a single mother during most of the year. My children love being around their dad, and he makes time to give baths and put them to bed despite getting home late some days. All of his extra time is spent with them so that gives me some extra mommy time for myself to stay sane.
How do you determine that your children are thriving?
K: I try to look at my children’s growth in comparison to children their ages. We work at home, and they are always learning new things at daycare. I always try to make sure I read to them and keep them excited about learning new things. When discipling, I try to not just fuss at them but to teach them while disciplining. I want them to understand what they’re doing wrong.
How do you carve out time for yourself?
K: I try to make sure my husband and I take turns giving baths and doing bedtime to have time for myself. I try to stick to a schedule so that I can include time for me to do things when they’re taking naps or in bed.
How does your husband/partner contribute to child-rearing?
K: My husband is very hands on. He is a stickler about rules and respect. He believes in being consistent but makes sure that he explains why. We work well together and try to make sure we don’t disagree about a choice of discipline in front of the kids. We are united in our methods. We both want to make sure we are raising responsible young people and are allowing to them to blossom.
Who is your child-rearing support group?
K: I always talk to my friends who are also parents and have been in my shoes or who are currently where I am. Most of our friends are parents and have the same age children so we all rely on and support one other.
What advice would you give to a new mom?
K: For any new moms out there, I would say cherish every moment with your children because they grow really fast. Hug and kiss them all day and everyday because the older they get, the less hugs and kisses you get! Do not forget about your significant other when you have children. Make time for one another. Being a parent is a gift and you have the opportunity to mold and shape a person and set the standards for what type of person he or she will be. It’s the hardest but most rewarding job a person can have! Take it seriously! I love every minute of it!