I wish I could paint this fairytale picture that where I am now in my life is what I’ve always wanted, but that’s the furthest from the truth.
With a Bachelor of Science in International Business, I thought I was going places. It didn’t matter that I didn’t land my dream job fresh out of college. I was willing to work my way up.
My dream was to travel the world.
Whether it was running my own business or working for some major corporation, I did not care as long as I could utilize my degree and travel.
Working for a travel agency was as close to my dream as I would get. At the time I was content because my traveling expenses were discounted or free. However, that lifestyle left no time for a husband or children.
My dreams became just dreams.
Fast forward a few years, I met my husband then one baby after another. Whatever dreams I thought I had were all just that, dreams. Instead of no time for a husband or babies, it was the opposite, no time for pursuing my dreams of traveling and progressing up the corporate ladder.
My mother would always say, a woman always sacrifices her dreams and goals once she has children. This was hard to accept and process internally. I started to question then what was my purpose. And with having to pay off my school loans, I asked why I allowed myself to waste four years of school if I’m not utilizing the degree I earned?
I just could not comprehend this transition in my life.
No matter how much I tried to do things my way, having children changed my life dramatically. It changed the way I thought, the way I dressed, and how I spent my time. This was not just me sacrificing dreams and goals. This was me sacrificing SELF for my husband and children.
After our fourth child, it came a point where I had to make a decision.
I didn’t want the most important people in my life to be neglected or suffer all because I wanted to be a success.
As my family grew, my faith grew. And as my faith grew, my views of what it meant to sacrifice self for children changed.
But how has all the sacrificing of SELF become a blessing?
It was either stop having children or stop pursuing my goals. Even after our fourth, I still had a desire for more children. I learned that children are an inheritance, not simply a byproduct of a couple’s intimacy.
Children teach you things that nothing else in the world can teach you.
Children taught me my strengths and weaknesses. There is nothing wrong with having dreams, but it is more of a blessing to share those dreams with others and fulfill them together. I’ve discovered the difference between my wants and necessities and what is temporal and what is eternal. All the accomplishments I would have gained on my own pre-family life would have made me happy but not joyful. There is a huge difference.
Sacrificing SELF for my children has taught me that my children are my success story. And I look forward to seeing every chapter of the story as I continue learn, love, teach and grow with them.
Have you made sacrifices to your dreams? What were your dreams before you became a mother? What are they now?