While the chief resident in every nursery is your baby, it is important to make sure that you are happy in this space as well. Looking after your infant entails many late nights and hurried mornings, and a peaceful, soothing space can ultimately help you deal with the inevitable stress with a calmer disposition that you need to have in order to care for your child. The room should be a happy nook for all involved.

Baby-proofing the area is a priority. The most important order of business in creating the perfect abode for your tot is always security. Before going out on a limb, shopping for adorable cribs and whimsical accessories, make sure you do a thorough safety check. Inspect furniture for sharp edges and discard toys that your child can put in his mouth. Also, chuck any linen that can potentially cause allergies and itching.

Remember too, that while you may want your babies to stay the way they are forever, they do grow up at a rapid pace. Incorporating permanent fixtures such as built-in furniture and thematic motifs can easily become boring and tiresome. It is best to consider pieces and designs that can weather the growing years without losing their special appeal.

The first year, in particular are crucial to your child’s development. After birth, your baby will totally be dependent on you. If possible, situate your nursery adjacent to your own bedroom. Even with a caregiver on board, it is important for you to hear his cries and have quick access to his room. You may even want to house his crib in your space for the first few weeks, just until you feel more confident having him in a separate room. Having a nursery allows your baby his first experience at having his very own space. At the same time, it gives you a chance to regain the privacy you had before he was born.

For decoration, you can use ordinary objects as tools. Even your child’s pieces of clothing, when placed on walls, can make for visually interesting accessories. An indoor clothesline offers a fresh twist for your run-in-the-mill hangers. The point here is to go for fun, flexible pieces you don’t have to commit to.

Covering your nursery walls in wallpaper may seem like a good idea until you get tired of its pattern. Stripping the walls and repainting can be expensive so instead of fashioning the space with potentially permanent materials, invest on elements that are easy to switch. Also invest in a storage made for grownups. Instead of buying kid-sized chests and miniature cabinets, opt for adult armoires.

Pieces built to your size keep you from having to hunch over when you’re pulling something out. Make the task effortless and quick for you so that you can immediately attend to your baby when he gets fussy. The best part is that these pieces never lose their functionality!

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Several sources of help are available to mothers starting breast feeding. If youre short on friends and relatives who have breast-feeding experience, a group called La Leche League can help; ask your doctor or hospital for a referral. Even if you didnt start nursing right after birth, it may be possible to restart your milk supply with some expert advice.
How long you breast feed is as individual a decision as whether to breast feed at all. Ideally, breast feeding should be continued for at least the first three months a key period for boosting the babys immune system with maternal antibodies and, possibly, reducing the likelihood of food and other allergies (especially in families with a history of allergic problems).

If you must return to work or find that, for whatever reason, breast feeding isnt right for you, your baby will thrive on a properly selected and prepared formula. But if you and your baby are both enjoying nursing, theres no reason to give it up entirely until the baby is at least a year old or even older.

Whenever you decide to wean, ask your doctor for specific advice on making the switch to formula. The breasts work on a supply and demand principle, so they should produce less milk as your baby nurses less. However, if you experience painful engorgement of the breasts, ask for advice on how to relieve the discomfort. Hot compresses may help; medication to dry up the milk supply is usually unnecessary.

If your baby cant nurse at first, but you wish to keep the milk supply going until he can, you can express breast milk by hand or with a breast pump. This method is also used to store breast milk for bottle feeding if you cant be continually available to nurse. Expressed breast milk should be stored in the refigerator in a bottle that has been sterilized or at least scrubbed with soap and hot water. Any milk that is not used within 24 hours should be frozen.

Its also possible to use a combination of breast and bottle. Unless you are actually weaning the baby away from the breast, however, switching back and forth may confuse your baby and make it harder for your breasts to produce enough milk for his needs.
While youre breast feeding, its advisable to keep caffeine and alcohol intake to a minimum or eliminate them altogether. In addition, many prescription and over-the-counter medications pass into breast milk. Ask your doctor before taking any medicine while nursing.

Further resources: The Complete Book of Breast-feeding. Marvin S. Eiger and Sally W. Olds. New York: Workman Publishing Company, 1987.

The Womanly Art of Breast-feeding. La Leche League International. (Ask your obstetrician, maternity ward, or birthing center for a referral to your local chapter.) 4th edition. New York: New American Library, 1983.

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Talk to your pediatrician before selecting a type and brand of formula. Most brands are based on cows milk that has been modified to make it more like human milk; some are iron-fortified. Other formulas based on soy or goats milk may be recommended, especially if the baby doesnt seem to tolerate a cows milk formula. Its unwise, however, to switch formulas based on a short episode of digestive distress. To be on the safe side, you should speak to your pediatrician before changing formulas, and follow that advice. Cows milk alone is unsuitable for babies until they are at least one year old.

If the baby is going to burp, he will usually do so within a couple of minutes.

What about vitamin supplementation? Ask your pediatrician for advice. Vitamin D and iron are often recommended for breast-fed babies. Infant formula already has vitamins in it, but your doctor may suggest an iron-fortified formula if your babys iron stores are low. Fluoride drops, which prevent tooth decay, will be prescribed if you live in an area where the local water supply is not fluoridated. If your doctor recommends vitamin supplements or fluoride drops, always give the exact recommended dose. More is not better, since an overdose of vitamins may be toxic.

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If you dont already have a pediatrician lined up, this is the time to find one who is well-qualified, conveniently located, and personally compatible. It is most helpful if your pediatricians office has a call hour when you can ask questions. Youll also be given an appointment for a routine post-partum checkup from the obstetrician for yourself and from the pediatrician for the baby. Often, the babys checkup is scheduled for two weeks after birth, but you many need it sooner, particularly if there were any problems early on.

At home, you will soon discover the best ways to keep the baby comfortable and happy. Babies vary tremendously in their likes and dislikes, as well as in their overall moods and body rhythms for example, sleep cycles and elimination patterns. Before long, your babys unique patterns of behavior will make total sense to you. You will find that the babys special warmth, newborn smell, and soft movements awake your own natural caring patterns that enable you to tune in to his unique needs.

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In the car, your baby will need an infant car seat. Some car seats can do double duty as adjustable infant seats or carriers, but babies generally outgrow these seats by four or five months of age. You can safely place a newborn in a larger car seat that can be adjusted for growth until age four or five, when the child can switch to a seat belt.

If you choose the full-sized seat, find one with a three-point harness (which latches at each shoulder and between the legs), and be sure to place it in the car properly, so that the baby is facing the rear. (When the baby reaches a certain weight, which varies for different seat models, you can turn the seat around.) Also buy a cushion insert to help support the babys head.

Other purchases you may want to consider include:

1. A wind-up or battery-operated swing
2. Baby-sized plastic bathtub
3. Diaper pail
4. Adjustable infant seat

Clothing

Keep it simple in early infancy. Stretchable knit sleepwear and undershirts are the mainstays of a babys wardrobe, and since babies grow so rapidly, buying them in six-month or even one-year sizes is a safe bet. Look for clothes that are easy to wash, put on, and take off. Light sweaters are needed for cool rooms or outings. In winter, blanket sleepers or buntings are the best choice, with separated legs an added convenience if your baby is often in a car seat.

Toys

In the early months, a babys favorite toys include faces and fingers, his own and yours. Provide some stimulating crib scenery by propping or attaching bright pictures, mirrors, dolls, or mobiles nearby. (Dont, however, attach these items with strips of elastic, which can strangle the baby.) Rattles are fun and provide practice in searching for sounds and looking at movement. Be sure all infant toys are safe.

Check for small parts, sharp edges, or trailing cords. According to the Consumer Product Safety Commission, rattles with ends that are smaller than 1% inches in diameter pose a choking hazard. Its fun to watch your baby respond to a musical mobile. The mobile should be eight to 14 inches from the babys face for optimal focusing. Bright, primary colors and sharp contrasts attract a babys attention more than pale shades.

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Remove most of the bowel movement with the soiled diaper, then wipe the diaper area clean with a commercial baby wipe or (for sensitive skin) a cotton ball dipped in warm water. Wipe girls from front to back to avoid spreading bacteria that might lead to a vaginal or urinary tract infection.

Dry skin thoroughly (blot, dont rub), paying special attention to skinfolds and creases.

When the babys skin is dry, you may wish to apply baby lotion (not oil). Powder is not recommended, since inhaling it can be harmful. If you do use powder, apply a small amount carefully to avoid making clouds. Dont use lotion and powder.

Until the penis of a circumcised baby is healed, apply a little Vaseline with each diaper change.

If you use cloth diapers from a diaper service, they may be delivered prefolded. Neat folding is not as important as finding a method thats easy for you and comfortable for the baby. When pinning cloth diapers, use diaper pins (not regular safety pins), and place your hand between diaper and baby to avoid the risk of pin pricks.

When putting disposable diapers on your baby, make sure your hands are free of powder or lotion, or the self-stick tabs wont stick. Avoid plastic or rubberized pants. They trap moisture and contribute to chafing. If you use them, leave them loosely fastened.

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If your child is in day care, the ride home may be calming or may increase the fussiness. A grumbling three- to six-month-old may want to be held and played with, but the problem is just as likely to be overstimulation, in which case fewer lights, less noise, and less activity should be soothing.

During this period of the day, its best to keep things simple. Start dinner at a leisurely pace while the baby watches from an infant seat or mechanical swing. Alternatively, play soft music while you carry the baby gently from room to room, pointing out interesting objects. If the baby seems reasonably calm, bring out a few toys and enjoy a play session on the floor. Watch for signs of fatigue yawning, glazing of the eyes, and fretfulness.

Whenever possible, try to have the baby nap at about the same time each afternoon, not so early that she will conk out for good at 5 P.M. (and be up and ready to play at 4 A.M.), but not so late that waking will occur later than your normal dinner hour. A late-afternoon bottle or nursing session can help the baby wind down. Avoid nursing the baby to sleep or letting her suck the bottle until dozing off. Not only does this keep the baby from learning to go to sleep unaided, it can also lead to tooth decay, especially once the first teeth have erupted, which often happens around the sixth month.

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As the children develop, they need to gradually learn to become independent so that they will be ready to be on their own (when going off to college or moving into their own homes). This process should start young in the childs life. Teaching independence is something that can be done easily and seamlessly when you know ways to incorporate the lessons into everyday life. Here are a few suggestions to promote independence, based on my experiences as a parent.

Picking Up

Teach your child to pick up after themselves. This can be as simple as picking up toys after they are done playing. Or it can be putting their plate in the dishwasher after dinner. These small things encourage independence. And teach good life skills starting at a young age. These tasks are parts of daily life and everyone should be capable of accomplishing them.

Riding a Bicycle

Another activity that promotes independence is riding a bicycle. Not only does it give your child physical mobility, it gives them a sense of freedom. No one else is making the bike move but them. It also allows your child to see and experience for themselves the rewards of hard work. They will discover that the more work they puts into pedaling, the farther the bike will travel.

Choosing Clothes to Wear

As your child gets older, allow them to pick out their clothes for the day. This will help your child learn to make decisions. It is only when the outfit does not match well that I make a suggestion. (Think camouflage print pants with a striped shirt). If they still want to go with that combination, thats their choice. This not only helps the child learn independence, but helps them gain confidence is who they are and understand how to express themselves starting at a young age.

Picking the Activity

When filling the day with activities give your child options. Present them with three to four different activities and let them decide how they want to spend their time. This teaches them how to realize what they enjoy doing as well as how to choose what they want out of a grouping of good options. Try to focus on what they want to do and not have them throw out the options they dont want. You want to keep the outlook positive.

Deciding What to Eat

When you go out to eat, let your child have a choice in what to get. Of course, you, as the adult, will have to set some general guidelines. For example, when we visit Yumz Frozen Yogurt in Chicago Illinois, it provides a great opportunity for choice. Allowing your child to choose the yogurt flavor and the toppings will give them a chance to think independently. I like to give my older kids an option of one large portion of topping or two smaller portions of two different toppings. They learn about making independent choices and see the results of those choices.

One of if not the most important role as parents is to prepare our children for life. Everyone’s goal is to raise confident self-aware children who know who they are and how to achieve what they want out of life. Teaching them to become independent is a gradual process but the rewards are great. Small activities like the ones mentioned above can start your child on the road to independence without them even realizing.

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To avoid this unpleasantness, look for signals that your baby may be getting frazzled and try to adjust your approach accordingly. Watch for yawning, fidgeting, flushing or mottling of the skin, and reluctance to look you in the eye and smile. If the baby shows any of these signs, tone down the environment, cutting out excess noise and activity. Some babies, of course, are more adaptable than others and actually seem to thrive on end-of-day excitement. If yours is one of these, enjoy. If not, try to adjust your evening activities to accommodate the babys needs.

Whether you include the baby in the family meal by giving her a bottle or nursing while you sit down at the table is a matter of personal preference. If you prefer a quiet, uninterrupted dinner, its probably better to put off eating until the baby is sleeping (but that may not happen until fairly late). Either way, a soothing bedtime routine just before or after the babys last nighttime feeding will be helpful.

You may want to include a bath, depending on whether the baby responds to water by relaxing or getting wound up. A diaper and clothing change should also be part of the routine, as should a period of rocking, listening to soft music, or other quiet activity. Do not, however, get into the habit of nursing or rocking the baby to sleep at night.

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–  Keep one hand on the baby whenever you are changing diapers on a changing table. Never leave a baby unattended on a changing table or bed, since babies can easily roll off.

–  Make sure the crib sides are always locked.

–  Use safety straps when you put the baby into an infant seat, swing, or stroller.

–  Remove mobiles and similar toys from the crib as soon as the baby is able to push up on the forearms. An active baby can easily become entangled in a mobile or start mouthing dangerous, small parts.

–  Never suspend a pacifier or toy around the babys neck with a string or ribbon. The string may get caught on part of the crib, stroller, or playpen and strangle the baby.

Sleeping Through The Night

Regardless of their sleep patterns, all babies go through several sleep cycles, waking at least one or two times each night. As they get older and feel hungry less often, however, they may go back to sleep after only a few minutes of whimpering or without any crying at all, particularly if they have learned to calm themselves by sucking a fist or gazing at a hand. Parents of calm, quiet babies often say their infants sleep through the night almost from birth, but this is never the case. Rather, these babies are lucky enough to know how to get themselves back to sleep when they wake at the end of a sleep cycle. Some babies need your help to get back to sleep. The following are helpful techniques:

–  When you want the baby to fall asleep, place her in a quiet spot where there is no activity to see. » Noise and light can easily wake babies this age. Therefore, youll all sleep better if the baby doesnt stay in your room, where the sounds of squeaky bed springs, talking, and snoring can interrupt her slumber. » Give the baby a good feeding before putting her down for the night. If the baby wakes up hungry in the wee hours of the morning, try giving the last feeding as late in the evening as possible.

–  Dont postpone the last feeding so long that the baby gets overtired. If the baby is worn out before going to bed, she is less likely to sleep well.

–  Avoid noise, excitement, and excessive activity in the hour or so before bedtime. If you hear the baby whimpering in the middle of the night, wait a few minutes before rushing to her aid.

–  If you need to feed or change the baby in the middle of the night, keep the room darkened and be quick and businesslike. Dont pause to cuddle or play with your baby night is for sleeping.

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